Breathe Again
by Meghanav3
Summary: Ziva was the one that everyone knew could take care of herself, but when her world is turned upside down can she accept help? And what does their current case have to do with it?
1. Let The Rain

Breathe Again

**Prologue**

**Summary:** Ziva was the one that everyone knew could take care of herself, but when her world is turned upside down can she accept help? And what does their current case have to do with it?

**Characters:** Ziva David, Tony DiNozzo, Jethro Gibbs, Tim McGee, Abby Sciuto, Donald Mallard, Leon Vance, Jimmy Palmer, Maybe more

**Disclaimer:**I do not own NCIS or its characters.

**Rating:** Not sure. PG-13/R to be on the safe side.

**Chapter One - "Let The Rain"**

Ziva walked off the elevator; it seemed weird to be back in the bullpen, she knew it had only been a couple month, but it still seemed weird. She looked around and it seemed like things didn't change much while she was gone. Almost seemed like they stayed the same, but she knew that wasn't true. Things had changed and they weren't for the good. As she walked over to her desk, she noticed no one else seemed to be around. She was glad she was the only one there, for now at least. She wasn't ready to face everyone right now, at least not yet. She just needed to get used to being back in the bullpen after being gone for so long. She was just glad she was able to get the time off, if not she wasn't sure how she would have handled this. As she looked over at Tony's and McGee's desk she knew she'd have to face them sooner or later, but she rather it be later. Ziva then heard a noise and instinctively pulled her gun from its holster, turned around and pointed it at the direction of the noise, only to find Tony standing there.

"Woah Ziva" Tony said putting his arms up.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed DiNozzo?" Ziva said to him almost with a shaky voice. She then lowered her gun and put it back in its holster. She knew this was not have she wanted to start her day, and knew that just maybe she was coming back too soon. She just wasn't going to let them know that one.

"I wasn't trying to sneak up on you." Tony said to her, giving her a weird look. "I saw you at your desk, figured I'd just say welcome back and see how you were. Why did you point your gun at me?"

"I...I…I reacted badly, I am sorry" Ziva said to him. She knew if she was going to prove to them she was ready to be back at work, she was going to have to make sure she could focus and little things would not set her off.

"It's okay, you've been gone a couple months it's understandable" Tony said as he walked over to his desk. He placed his bag on the ground behind his desk, before removing his gun from the holster and his badge from his belt and placed them on his desk.

"What have you heard?" Ziva said a little worried, about what was being said around.

"What you've told us." Tony answered not sure how to really react to that question. "Your friend was murdered in your apartment building and you were taking some time off. " Tony said to her, as he sat down at his desk.

"Right" Ziva said, breathing a sigh of relief. "I have since moved on."

"Like I told you before, I am sorry about your friend." Tony said to her sincerely. Ziva gave him a small half smile.

"No, no, no, you said they could fix it and have it ready for me tomorrow." Tony and Ziva heard McGee's voice say. They turned to see McGee on the phone as he walked into the bullpen. "I need my car tomorrow. You said it would be ready and it needs to be ready." McGee said before hanging up. He then looked up to see Ziva at her desk. "Welcome back Ziva." Tim said with a smile. "Tony over here wouldn't stop complaining about you being gone the whole time."

"That is not true" Tony quickly said

"Yes it is" Gibbs said as he entered the bullpen. "We have a dead Petty Officer, Norfolk."

"Same as the other ones?" Tony asked him, as he got up and grabbed his gun and badge.

"Yup. Grab your gear" Gibbs said and grabbed his stuff before headed towards the elevator. "Welcome back David" He said as he walked back.

"But that's like the third one this month" Tony said as he was walking towards the elevator, McGee and Ziva following behind.

"That's why they are called serial killers DiNozzo" Gibbs said to him as the elevator doors closed.

Once they got to the crime scene, they all got out of the truck, Gibbs walked over to talk to the person in charge, as Tony, McGee and Ziva heading to the back of the truck to grab their stuff. As soon as they had grabbed everything they needed, they headed down to the crime scene and as soon as Ziva saw the body, she stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn't help but noticed how alike the Petty Officer looked like her friend; it was almost like they could have been twin. Ziva just stood there frozen, staring at the body. Tony and McGee were walking down to the crime scenes and Tony happened to say something, they both knew Ziva would comment on, but when she said nothing, they both stopped and turned to see she wasn't following behind them. She was standing a few feet away staring intensely at the body, looking as pale as a ghost. Tony and McGee both wanted to go over to her, but Tony stopped McGee and motioned for him to continue on. McGee continued to the crime scene, while Tony walked over to Ziva.

"Ziva, you okay?" Tony asked her. As soon as he had spoken, Ziva shook her head and looked at Tony.

"I am fine Tony" Ziva said a little shaky.

"Are you sure? You looked like you just saw a ghost" Tony said to her, with worry in his voice. "Do you recognize the victim?"

"No, she just looks like Lillian" Ziva said. She looked up at Tony as tears started to form in her eyes. She quickly regained her self and looked back at the boys. "But she is gone and there is work to be done." Without another Ziva continued to walk to the crime scene, Tony let out a sigh and followed after her. As they were joining McGee, Tony gave him a look of what just happened. McGee walked over to Ziva, who was trying to just focus on the work at hand.

"Ziva maybe you should take another couple of days off?" McGee said to her. Ziva stopped what she was doing and turned to face McGee.

"I am fine, McGee" Ziva said to him with a half fake smile. "I will be fine"

"Okay." McGee said not truly believing it. Tony walked over and joined them holding the camera in his hands.

"Ziva why don't you take pictures" Tony said as he held out the camera.

"I am fine Tony" Ziva said to him a little aggravated, before walking off.

~~~~xxxx~~~~

"What do you got Duck" Gibbs said to Ducky, after he had finished talking to the person in change and the witness who had found the body. Ducky and Palmer had arrived just shortly before Gibbs and the team did, so Gibbs was hoping Ducky could give him something.

"I've barely been here, Jethro" Ducky responded to him, never looking up once.

"What can you tell me?" Gibbs asked him.

"Our Petty Officer was killed the same way the other victims were." Ducky started to say. "A slash to the throat, and by the lack of pooling, means she wasn't…"

"Killed here" Gibbs said finishing Ducky's sentence.

~~~~xxxx~~~~

Once they got back to the squad room, there was no talk; Gibbs had went off to brief Director Vance about the killer, while Tony, McGee and Ziva were to find all they could. They were to try and connect the victims, any other cases or anything else they could connect to these murders. Gibbs wanted to know if there was a pattern between all the victims or if there were anymore they had missed. Abby was sent all the evidence they had collected, along with the photos. Hoping she could find anything that could lead them to who the killer was and hoping to find him before he killed again. Before long, Ziva got up from her desk and walked out of the bullpen. Tony watched as she left and once she was gone got up from his desk and moved over to McGee's.

"She's hiding something" Tony said to him. Tony could see from the moment she pointed her gun in his face till now something was wrong and it really worried him. He had seen when Ziva was just acting out of reflex, but this was different, she was a lot more jumpy. It just wasn't the Ziva he knew.

"Tony her friend was murder, maybe she's just taking it harder than any of us thought." McGee said, trying to come up with a logical reason, to her behavior.

"No, that's not it at all and even if that was the case McGee she doesn't freeze at a crime scene" Tony said to him. "Something else is going on."

"She did mention that the victim looked like her friend Lillian." McGee said, he then thought of something. "Maybe there is a connection? You think she knows anything about the killer?" McGee asked.

"Could be" Tony said, not believing that could be a possibility. "But something is wrong." Tony said quietly to himself as he walked back over to his desk.

~~~~xxxx~~~~

Ziva walked into the bathroom and closed the door. She quickly checked to make sure no one was in the stalls, before locking the door and walking over to the sink. She turned on the water, letting it run for a few minutes. She placed her hands under the running water then brought her face down and splashed water on her face. She then placed her hands on the edge of the sink, before bring her head up and looking into the mirror.

"_Fancy seeing you here" The women said with a smile, as she walked over to another women sitting at a bar. _

"_I told you, I would be here, Lily" The women at the bar said, not really grasping it was a little joke._

"_Of course you did Ziva, I was teasing" Lillian said to her with a laugh. "I ask you out for drinks, because I wanted you to meet someone." She said and then turned and waved her hand, for someone to come over. Then a man walked over to them. "Ziva this is my boyfriend Matthew. Matthew this is Ziva, my friend I was telling you about."_

"_It's nice to meet you Ziva" Matthew said to her as he held out his hand, with a smile on his face._

"_You too Matthew" Ziva said as she took his hand and they shook. _

"_We live across from each other; I meet Ziva when I was moving in. She offered to help me since I was all alone." Lillian started to go on. "I didn't have a big strong man in my life then to help me out. But she helped me get all the boxes into the apartment, and we totally clicked from there. She's been teaching me a lot, the last two years." _

"_That's really nice." Matthew said. "It's good you have a friend who lives so close."_

"_It is. Lily is a wonderful person" Ziva said to him. She wasn't sure way, but she wasn't getting the best felling from him. Maybe it was because she didn't trust people, or rather men so easy, but she just felt uneasy with him. _

"_She is" Matthew said. "So what do you do?" _

"_I work for NCIS" Ziva said to him. She tried to watch him to see if she could see if he'd have any of the telltale sign, that she was lying or just wasn't who he said he was. Or something to maybe tell her she was being crazy._

"_So you're a Navy cop" Matthew said. Ziva just smiled, not sure she really wanted to answer that._

"_Federal Agent" Ziva said, just wanting to correct him. She then slowly got up from her chair, she knew things weren't going to end well, and needed to leave. "I am sorry Lily, but before you go her I got a cold. I actually have to head back in the office so I should be going."_

"_But we just got here" Matthew said._

"_Okay Ziva. I'm really glad you got to meet him" Lillian said with nothing but smiles. _

"_Me too" Ziva said, as she pulled some money out of her pocket and placed it on the bar. She then turned to face Lily. "I will talk to you later" Ziva said, with a smile half smile. She then grabbed her coat and headed out of the bar, she could tell he was watching her leave. She could just feel his eyes on her._

* * *

><p>AN: still slightly unsure of this story, so posting this as a tester chapter to see how you like it. Before moving forward.<p> 


	2. Secrets

**Chapter Two - "Secrets"**

Ziva sat at her desk as Tony was telling McGee, Gibbs and her all about the victim, her history and how she was connected to the other victims. Ziva was only half listening to Tony and the other half of the time she was just staring blankly at the papers on her desk. She just couldn't get her mind to focus; she started thinking maybe it would be best if she had taken a few more days off. But she didn't want to waste any more time at her apartment, she was going as they say stir crazy.

"_He's a nice guy, Ziva" Lillian said to her, as they walked into Claire's apartment with boxes in their hands. Lily had just bought a few more things, since Matthew had moved in with her and had asked Ziva to help her unload it. "And I really like him."_

"_I do not trust him" Ziva said to Lillian. The two of them walked into the living room and placed the boxes on the table. Lily turned and faced Ziva._

"_Why because he's male? Or a fed?" Lily asked her harshly. _

"_There is no record of him Lily" Ziva said to him. She knew it would get her in trouble, but she wanted to make sure he was who he said he was. She had asked a contact at the agency to look into a Matthew Mackenzie, only to find out no one by that name worked for the agency or any agency._

"_You checked into his background?" Lily said shocked. _

"_You are my friend, and I do not trust him" Ziva said to her. She knew it didn't justify it, but she was just trying to protect Lily._

"_Don't, do not use your job to tell me who I can and can't date. You may be my friend, but you're not my mother or protector" Lillian said. She picked up one of the boxes and stormed off into the other room. Ziva left out a sigh, before turned away from the coffee table and heading for the door. Just as she was getting to the door, it opened and there stood Matthew. _

"_Leaving so soon Ziva" Matt said to her, as he walked into the apartment. _

"_I have to get to go" Ziva said, it was only half true, but she didn't want him to know Lily and her fought about him. She started to move past him and too the door, but he grabbed her arm and stopped her. She turned her head and looked at him_

"_I don't think so" He said, with this devilish grin on his face. Ziva grabbed his hand and pulled it off her arm, before pushing it back and backing away a bit from him. _

"_Touch me again and you will not have a hand to pull back." Ziva said to him coldly. _

"_Touchy sorry" Matt said asking all innocent. "I just hate to see you leave so soon" _

"_I have to work" Ziva said again before turning away from him and leaving. _

"Ziva" Tony voice rang. Ziva shook her head and looked up to see Tony standing in front of her desk and McGee and Gibbs where both nowhere to be seen. "I have been saying your name for the last 5 minutes. You sure you're okay?"

"I am fine" Ziva said to him, a bit confused.

"McGee and Gibbs went to go see Abby. I have been trying to get your attention now, so we can join them" Tony said to her, not buying it.

"I will be right there" Ziva said.

"Okay" Tony said, a little uneasy. He didn't want to leave her alone, but respected what she said. He just gave her a small smile before heading off towards the elevator. Once the elevator reached the floor for Abby's Lab, Tony walked off and headed straight into the Lab. Abby was already explaining something to Gibbs and McGee. Tony just walked right over and stood there and listened to Abby as she talked, as if he had been there all along. McGee shot him a look almost asking if Ziva was coming and what was going on. Tony looked back at him with a look saying something is really off. Tony then looked over to see Gibbs looking at the two of them.

"Nice of you to join of DiNozzo" Gibbs said to him.

"I got tied up with something, won't happen again" Tony said to him, even though he knew Gibbs knew he was trying to get Ziva's attention.

"Your right it won't" Gibbs said to him. He then looked around and didn't see Ziva anywhere. "Where is Ziva?"

"She was right behind me" Tony said to him. He then looked down at the ground, his friend and partner was really starting to worry him.

Ziva sat her desk for a couple of minute trying to gather her thoughts. She knew she needed to pull herself together if she wanted to get McGee and Tony to stop asking if she was fine. She was fine; she was determined to be fine. It had just been a hard couple of weeks and she just needed to put the past in the past. Ziva took a deep breath and got up from her chair. She walked out from behind her desk and headed on her way to Abby's lab. Ziva stood in the elevator as it went down. It seemed like it was taken forever to reach the floor she needed to be on. Or maybe she really just didn't want to face the team right now. All she knew was her mind was running a mile a minute and she couldn't figure out how to sort anything out. Everything was all jumbled up and nothing made sense. The one thing that was making sense was she could hear Gibbs words in her head… 'You've gotta stop staring at this one, Ziva. Put it behind you.' She knew she needed to put it behind her; she just couldn't no matter how hard she tried. She then reached over and flipped the emergency stop switch and the elevator stopped. Ziva leaned against the back of the elevator and closed her eyes.

_Ziva tried to leave autopsy, but Gibbs stopped her. "If you are going to give me a lecture on my bad judgment, I don't need to hear it" Ziva said to him._

"_Is that was you think this is about" Gibbs responded back. "You doubting your judgment?"_

"_I should have moved earlier." Ziva said._

"_You would've if you could've" Gibbs said._

"_I left it too late."_

"_You still took him out."_

"_I almost died."_

"_But you didn't." Gibbs said. He then moved closer to her. "You've gotta trust your judgment, Ziva. Moment you don't, it won't be almost." Gibbs walked away, leaving Ziva alone._

Ziva opened her eyes and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away and recomposed herself. She took a deep breath and flipped the elevator back on. Within a few minutes the doors opened and Ziva walked off. She walked into the lab, and as soon as she was in the room, everyone turned and looked at her.

"DiNozzo McGee go talk to her family" Gibbs said to Tony and McGee. "Ziva with me" Gibbs said and then walked away from Abby, Tony and McGee and past Ziva towards the elevator. Ziva took a deep breath and followed him into the elevator. Once the door closed and the elevator started to go up, Gibbs flipped the emergency stop switch and once the emergency lights turned on, Gibbs turned to Ziva. Ziva took a step back away from him. "If you aren't ready to come back Ziva, why are you here?"

"I am ready, I am just getting back into the swings of things" Ziva said to him, trying to come up with a logical reason Gibbs wouldn't question.

"Could have fooled me" Gibbs said to her, clearly not buying it. "Ziva go home, take another couple days off, we will be okay"

"I cannot" Ziva said quickly

"Why not?" Gibbs asked her.

"I am going crazy in my apartment. I cannot stay there another day." Ziva said, hoping Gibbs won't notice her need to be anywhere else but that apartment complex. She knew Gibbs and if he could see the fear in her eyes, she knew he's say something.

"Ziva what is really going on?" Gibbs asked her. She knew either Tony or McGee mentioned something, but Gibbs had seen her strange behavior, but either way she wasn't about to let on things were far from fine.

"Nothing. I am… fine, I will be…. fine. I just need to… need to focus on work" Ziva said, stumbling on her words a bit.

"You are not fine. Ziva what is going on?" Gibbs said.

"She was killed there Gibbs" Ziva said as a few tears fell from her eyes. She knew that wasn't the only reason why, but no one needed to know that. "I cannot stay there another second, knowing she died across the hall from me, and that I could not help her."

"Ziva you are not to blame for her death." Gibbs said to her.

"But I am" Ziva said to him. "Had I said nothing, he would not have felt the need to kill her. She was innocent, Gibbs."

"Ziva there is no way to say if he wouldn't have killed her if you didn't warn her. But you did" Gibb said to her. "You warned her, he wasn't who he said he was. What happened after that, you couldn't have predicted or stopped"

"I was trained to kill and I could not stop him" Ziva said, she looked down at the ground, as a few more tears feel from her eyes.

"I don't think anyone could have stopped him" Gibbs said to her. He then moved closer to her and pulled her into a hug. Ziva tensed up at first, but soon loosened up and allowed Gibbs to hold her in comfort.

"You know what I think it is?" Tony said as they got out of the car. The two had taken off to talk to the victim's family. Once they had reached the house, Tony started on his rambles again.

"What Tony?" McGee asked him.

"Why Ziva is so jumpy. She found this Matt guy and killed him" Tony said, knowing that was just as farfetched as it sounded. They knew a thought that like in the past it could have been the case, but things were different now, Ziva was different now.

"You really think she'd kill him and jeopardize her job at NCIS?" McGee questioned him.

"You have a point" Tony said agreeing with McGee.

"I don't doubt she wouldn't want revenge, but if it cost her, her job, I think she'd let the police handle it" McGee said.

"Okay I get it" Tony said as they reached the front door. "Back to work, knock on the door Probie" McGee rolled his eyes and knocked on the door. Within a couple minutes the door opened. "NCIS" Tony said holding up their badges for the women to see. "We would like to ask you a few questions about your daughter, Mrs. Wilson"

"Sophie?" Mrs. Wilson said. "What has she gotten herself into now?

"May we come in?" McGee said softly. Mrs. Wilson nodded and moved out of the way to let them in. Once Tony and McGee walked in Mrs. Wilson closed the door.

"You may want to sit down" Tony said. Mrs. Wilson led them to the living room and they all took a seat. "I'm sorry Mrs. Wilson, your daughter Sophie was murder" Tony said. He had always hated giving the bad news to the family. As he had told Kate years ago he had sent someone else to do it when he was a Baltimore Cop.

"H…H…How?" Mrs. Wilson asked, as the tears fell from her eyes.

"That is what we intend on finding out" Tony said to her.

"It was that boyfriend of her. I knew he was no good" Mrs. Wilson said angrily.

"Boyfriend, what was his name?" Tony asked.

"Max something" She said. "I have a picture" She then got up and walked out of the room. Moments later she came back with a picture and handed it to Tony. "They started dating two weeks ago" She said to them. "But he wasn't who he said he was. He said he was a cop, but I have friends on the force and they never heard of him."

"Thank you Mrs. Wilson" Tony said. McGee looked at Tony not sure what he was doing. "My we keep this?" She nodded. "We'll be in touch and I promise we'll find him" Tony told her, he then got up, McGee following. The two then headed out of the house. As they were walking back to the car, Tony handed the picture to McGee. "He looks Familiar"

"He sure does" McGee said, as he realized what had just happened. The two walked to the car and go in, before driving back the office.


	3. Getting Closer

**Chapter Three - "Getting Closer"**

"So we now we have another thing that connects them" Tony said as he pulls up the pictures he had gotten of each of the women's boyfriends on the plasma to show Gibbs. "Him" Tony said. "So far he's been known as Mitch, Michael, Malachi, Martin, Mario and now Max."

"And each time we talk to someone, they all say he isn't who he says he is." McGee added in.

"Find out who he is" Gibbs said.

"Abby's running facial recognition, but hasn't come up with anything yet." Tony said to him. "There is more Boss. He's not just picking random women and killing them. He dating them each for two weeks and then killing them. Not to mention, they all have similar looks, this isn't random at all. He's really thinking about this." Before Gibbs could say anything, his phone went off.

"Gibbs" He said as he answered it. "I'll be right down" he then shut off the phone. "Ducky's got something. Find me a name and him" Gibbs said before he left.

"I'm going to see if Abby has anything" Tony said, before heading out of the bull pen.

Ziva walked off the elevator. After her talk with Gibbs she had decided to go for some air, she just needed to clear her head. She finally decided to come back, hoping everyone would stop push her out the door. She just wanted things to go back to normal, even though she knew that could never happen. Once she turned to the bullpen, there staring right at her, was the face she never wanted to see again.

_Ziva heard a knock on her door, she figured it was Tony. They had just finished talking about a case and she swore he always liked leaving something there so he could just come back and annoy her. She had soon caught on to him and made sure he had everything. She walked over to the door and opened it surprised to see Matt standing there. _

"_You are not welcomed here" Ziva said. She then started to close the door, but he stopped it and forced it open. _

"_I don't know what you said to Lily, but you're going to fix it" He snapped at her. He made sure to hold the door open so she couldn't slam it in his face. _

"_If she left you then I am not doing a thing" Ziva said to him. She didn't act it, but was happy that Lily kicked him to the curb. She knew he was no good and now he was proving it more than ever. "Now leave"_

"_If you don't fix it, David you will be sorry" Matt said to her. "And don't think about trying any of your tricks on me. I know all about you." He said as he got right in her face._

"_Get out, before I make you get out" Ziva said to him coldly._

"_Think about what I said" Matt said before walking away. Ziva closed the door and made sure it was locked before walking back to the kitchen. _

"Ziva, you okay" McGee said, noticing Ziva's change when she walked into the bullpen as soon as she noticed what was on the plasma.

"Yeah fine" Ziva said shaking it off. "Who is he?" She asked even though she knew the answer.

"Not sure, but we know he's our killer" McGee said. "He never uses the same name. He gets close to his victims and then kills them"

"He makes them believe they are special, that they have someone that truly loves them" Ziva started to say never taking her eyes away from the plasma screen. "Makes them feel like they are safe and everything is fine. Then takes it all away in the matter of minutes"

"Ziva?" McGee started to question what she had just said.

"He did that to Lily" Ziva said as he turned and looked at McGee.

"He did" McGee asked pointing to the plasma.

"Her so called boyfriend" Ziva said quickly, hiding what she really knew.

"Ziva you can't beat yourself up over this" McGee said. "You did what you could and that is all you can do"

"It was not enough. I could not stop him" Ziva said, she looked back to the plasma.

"Stop him? Ziva If you had tried he might have killed you too" McGee said to her.

"This is a fate worse than death McGee" Ziva said to him before walking away. McGee couldn't help but agree with Tony that something was defiantly going on with Ziva, something much more than her just friend's death.

"Are you sure Abby?" Tony asked her. Abby turned to Tony and looked him straight in the eye.

"I have run it five times, Tony. He killed her" Abby said to him. They both knew how this was going to end up and it wasn't going to be good.

"Did you call Gibbs?" Tony asked her.

"Not yet, but he's bound to come up sooner or later." Abby said to him.

"And we can't not tell him" Tony said to her he then started pacing back and forth.

"You know what this means" Abby said to him. Tony stopped and turned to her.

"Yes I do. She'll be taken off the case" Tony said.

"You find anything yet Abby" They heard a voice say, they both turned and looked at the door only to see McGee walking into the lab. "You guys are more jumpy then Ziva. Speaking of which Tony…" McGee started to say.

"You saw Ziva?" Tony asked, cutting McGee off mid-sentence.

"Yeah, in the squad room" McGee answered. "She walked in after you left. We talked about the case. She made a comment that just didn't seem right. I think your right Tony; something is going on with Ziva and it's a lot bigger than her friend's death."

"Yeah much bigger" Tony said to him. "Did she say anything about knowing who the killer was?"

"No why?" McGee questioned. "Should she have?"

"Yeah" Abby said. "He's the one that killed Lily"

"That would…" McGee said realizing how he missed what was staring him right in the face. "She couldn't take her eyes off the photo and talking about him as if she knew him. But she went on to say she only knew because it's what her friend's boyfriend did to her. I can't believe I could have been so stupid"

"McGee, she could have fooled any of us" Abby said to him, as she walked over and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Not Gibbs. He would have seen through that." McGee said.

"Did you get me a name Abby?" Gibbs said as he walked into the lab. She stopped and looked at them all, wondering what they were doing.

"Not yet" Abby said, she then brought her hand down and walked back over to her computer. "But I might have his first victim." Abby types a few things in and brings up the picture of the big screen. "Lillian Carter, Ziva's friend"

"Are you sure?" Gibbs asked as he walked over to the big screen.

"I ran it five times to make sure. The DNA and finger prints match the open case file." Abby said, wishing it wasn't the case.

"Find me a name" Gibbs said. He turned around and started to leave, but before he could even get half way to the door he was stopped by Ziva walking into the lab.

"His name is Mathew Mackenzie." Ziva said as she walked into the lab. Everyone just looked at her, unsure of what to say. "His real name." They all just stood there and looked at Ziva.


	4. Tell Me Everything You Know

**Chapter Four - "Tell Me Everything You Know"**

Ziva and Gibbs sat across from each other in the conference room. Ziva knew Gibbs was staring at her and she couldn't bring herself to look at Gibbs. She knew that he'd have this disappointing look and she didn't want to feel like she disappointed him. She also knew he'd see the truth in her eyes and she didn't want him too. This was about finding Matt the killer and being able to place him at the Petty Officer's murder. This was about finding justice for his victims.

"I want you to tell me everything you know about him Ziva" Gibbs said softly. She could tell he knew this was a hard subject for her.

"I only know what Lily told me" Ziva started to say. "That is all a lie" Ziva finally looked up.

"Just start from the beginning" Gibbs said.

"He was charming, sweet and everything Lily wanted to believe in. When I met him something was just not right" Ziva started to tell him.

"You didn't trust him?" Gibbs questioned.

"No" Ziva answered. "At first I could not figure it out. I just got this vibe from him that I did not like" Ziva continued to say. "He told Lily he worked for the FBI and could not tell her anything else. I checked into his background and there was no record of him with the FBI"

"Why did you feel the need to look into is background?" Gibbs questioned. She knew he was just covering all his bases as if it was an interrogation and not two people who worked together talking.

"Lily told me about an old boyfriend she had that things did not end well and that was why she moved" Ziva explained.

"And you're sure Matthew killed Lily?" Gibbs questioned.

"I am sure" Ziva said. She knew how she was so sure, but couldn't tell him. "Her old boyfriend was killed by a drunk driver last year" Ziva said. "I was just trying to protect her and I got her killed"

"No you didn't" Gibb said. He reached over and placed his hand on Ziva's but within second she pulled her hands back.

"She let him go two days after I told her what I had found out. I had not been able to talk to her so I could not be sure, but he showed up at my place. He demanded I fix what I ruined" Ziva went back to telling him what happened. She was hoping it would get Gibbs mind off what just happened.

"Did he threaten you?" Gibbs questioned.

"Not exactly" Ziva said.

"Ziva" Gibbs said to her in a stern voice.

"He did" Ziva finally said. "I can handle him Gibbs."

"Ziva he is a cold blooded killer" Gibbs said to her.

"And I am a trained assassin. I can handle myself, Gibbs" Ziva said. She wanted that to be true, but she knew it would be better if Gibbs handled it.

"Do you have any idea where he might be?" Gibbs asked.

"No" Ziva said. Truthfully she didn't want to know.

"We will find him Ziva, but for now I need you to stay here" Gibbs said to her, with a smile before getting up and walking out of the room.

"_Lily" Ziva said as she knocked on the door. It had been too long since they had their fight. She wanted to apologize and tell Lily it was wrong, but why she had done it in the first place. "Lily" Ziva said and knocked on the door again. "I know you are still mad at me, but I was hoping we could talk" Ziva said. She was hoping Lily would at least hear her out. "Lily" Ziva said and knocked one more time, only this time the door slowly started to open. Ziva reached for gun, only to remember she had left it in her apartment. She wasn't about to waste time and get it, even if she knew she should have it. She was just going to have to rely on other skills to help her out. She slowly walked into the apartment, making sure not to touch anything. She listened to see if she could hear any noises and when she didn't hear any, she continued in only to stop dead in her tracks when she saw her friend on the ground with a pool of blood. Ziva pulled out her phone from her pocket and dialed 911. '911 what's your emergency' "My names Ziva David and my friend has been murder" Ziva said, as a few tears rolled down her cheeks. She'd seen enough dead bodies and been on enough cases to know, Lily was gone and there wasn't much she could do right now. She did know she could make sure Matt paid for what he did and she knew it was Matt. _

"You got anything Abby?" Tony asked as he walked into her lab, Abby didn't even bother looking over at him. Tony continued to walk until he was standing next to her.

"Not since the last time you asked me, five second ago" Abby said, a little aggravated.

"First, It was like five minutes ago" Tony said to her. "And second, Gibbs is going to be back anytime now and we don't have anything to give him."

"He's still with Ziva?" Abby asked. She turned her head to look at Tony. He nodded yes. "You know I met Lily once, we went out for a girl's night." Abby said with a small laugh and a smile as she remembered that night. "I had never seen Ziva so happy. It was like she was a totally different person with Lily. She wasn't Ziva ex-Mossad or Ziva Federal Agent, she was just Ziva. "

"Lily was one of the first friends Ziva had since moving back to DC." Tony said softly. Before Abby could say another word, Tony just remember something? "Ziva's apartment building has camera's in the hallway…."

"And if we get it and there is video of him coming out or going into Lily's apartment before or after the murder we have him." Abby said finishing Tonys trail of thought. She then looked at Tony funny. "How do you know that?"

"She mentioned they had just installed it once" Tony said to Abby without saying much more. "Just don't tell anyone. I don't want McGee and Gibbs think we got this big lead only to find out it wasn't what we thought it was."

"Just get me the tape and I'll work my magic" Abby said to him with smile. Tony smiled back before heading out.

"What do we know so far" Gibbs said as he entered the bullpen, and expected to see Tony and McGee both hard at work, but only seeing McGee at his computer. "Where's DiNozzo?"

"He said something about one of the victim's mothers saying something, that was making sense now and went to go re-question her" McGee said, not really sure it made sense now. Sure hadn't made sense when Tony had said it before running out.

"What do we know?" Gibbs said as he walked over to his desk.

"None of the victims had any connection to each other, besides looks." McGee started to say as he pulled up their pictures, on the plasma screen. "It does seem he was going after women who looked like Lillian Carter."

"Are we positive she was the first victim?" Gibbs questioned.

"Yeah, the others were all murdered three weeks after Lillian Carter was murder" McGee said. The two of them looked at the plasma screen. They knew this was about to get more complicated than it already was.

* * *

><p>AN: Not really sure about this chapter. Sorry it's kind of short, but hopefully it makes sense.<p> 


	5. Something's going on

**Chapter Five - "Something's going on"**

Tony walked through the door to the main part of Ziva's apartment building, and to the manager's office. He knocked on the window and held up his badge to the window, hoping it get the managers attention, so this would be quick and easy.

"How can I help you?" The Manager asked?

"I was hoping I could get a copy of your surveillance tapes" Tony said to him. "NCIS is currently working an ongoing case and it has lead us to a tenants you once had." Tony started to explain to him. "Now I could come back with a warrant, but that would take extra time we don't currently have. So if you can hand them over as a way to help solve this case, you might be helping us break this case wide open."

"I'll see what I can do" He said to Tony.

"Thank you, NCIS thanks you" Tony said to him.

Ziva paced back and forth in the conference room, she had gotten up once Gibbs has left and hadn't sat down since. She knew she was most likely going to be taken off the case, due to being to close with one of the victims, but she needed to work. Otherwise she was going to sit home and all she was going to be with left alone with her thoughts and those were a lot more dangerous than her working this case. Everything she had feared was starting to come to light, first with Lily's murder and now with him. She couldn't think about it, she needed to just push it away. She needed to remember what she was taught and detach, forget all about it and think about the mission at hand. Ziva finally stopped pace and walked over to the window; she just stood there and looked out it. Everything she was trying so hard to forget, just starting coming to the surface and flooding her mind. Ziva closed her eyes, hoping she could focus on something else. _"Get out of my house…. You are not welcomed here….You need to leave now…."_ Suddenly Ziva felt a hand on her shoulder and it snapped her out of her thoughts, she quickly jumped back to see McGee standing there.

"Everything okay Ziva?" McGee said, with concern in his voice.

"I am fine" Ziva said, as she put on a fake smile, hoping he wouldn't notice. "I was just caught up in my thoughts. You startled me a bit, but I am fine."

"You do know we are here for you, right Ziva?" McGee said to her.

"Yes, and I thank you" Ziva said to him, this time with a real half smile. "I am lucky to have you all in my life."

"Well if you ever need anything or just want to talk, all you have to do is call" McGee said to her.

"I know" Ziva said to him. "How is the case going?" Ziva said trying to change the subject away from her.

"You know I can't discuss it with you" McGee said to her.

"Then why are you here?" Ziva asked him. She really didn't like the rule of discussing the case; she was part of the team until Lily was one of the victims.

"To see how you were." McGee said to her. "You are my friend and co-worker, I care about you. I know this must be hard on you and just wanted to see how you were holding up."

"My friend was murder, now he is murdering others" Ziva started to say something, till she started to remember something Matt had said to her.

"_So what do you do?" Matthew said to her._

"_I work for NCIS" Ziva said to him. She tried to watch him to see if she could see if he'd have any of the telltale sign, that she was lying or just wasn't who he said he was. Or something to maybe tell her she was being crazy._

"_So you're a Navy cop" Matthew said. Ziva just smiled, not sure she really wanted to answer that._

"_Federal Agent" Ziva said, just wanting to correct him._

"I need to talk to Gibbs" Ziva said to him. Things where starting to piece together. Ziva walked past McGee, out of the conference room down the hall and back into the bullpen with McGee following not far behind her. Once Ziva reached the bullpen, she was just about to speak to Gibbs when she saw the plasma screen with all the victims including Lily and how they all looked so a like.

"McGee" Gibbs snapped. McGee quick walked over to his computer, hit a button and all the images vanished. Ziva turned her attention back to Gibbs.

"Sorry Boss" McGee said, he then excused himself and left the bullpen.

"I told you to stay in the conference room" Gibbs said to her.

"He is going after me, Gibbs" Ziva said to him.

"What do you mean?" Gibbs questioned her.

"He knows I work for NCIS" Ziva said to him. "He blames me for Lily leaving him, so he is trying to get to me through our victims. They are all navy or marines are they not?"

"Yes" Gibbs said. "But…"

"He wants to hurt me Gibbs and he knows this is a way to get to me" Ziva said to him, cutting him off before he had a chance to speak. "You saw the images, they all look like Lily. He is using her to hurt me even more then…." Ziva trailed off.

"Ziva" Gibbs questioned.

"I will be back in the conference room" Ziva said to him. She turned and exited the bullpen and headed back to the conference room.

"So these are the last five months?" Tony asked the manager, as he held up the tapes he was just given.

"Yes, those are the last five months of footage for that floor." He said to Tony.

"NCIS Thanks you" Tony said to him. Tony was just about to leave, when he turned back and looked at the manager. "Once last question, one of your tenants Ziva David lives in 263B, has she been out a lot in the last couple of months?" Tony knew this was prying, but he could justify it as research for the case if need be. He was making sure if this Matthew Mackenzie somehow ended up dead that Ziva wasn't going to be the number one suspect.

"236B, she moved out weeks after the murder" He said to Tony. "Something about how she didn't feel 'safe' living so close to apartment where the boyfriend murdered his girlfriend. Load of crap if you ask me"

"I didn't, just wanted to look into a tenant, so thanks" Tony said. Ziva has moved out, and she was acting strange. Something was defiantly going on.

"She most likely just wanted to move in with her boyfriend" The Manager said.

"Boyfriend?" Tony questioned.

"Yeah that tall fella, he had been coming around always to see her." He said to Tony.

"Can you describe him?" Tony said. He had a feeling he already knew who it was.

"Tall, dark hair, kind of looked like you" He said.

"Really?" Tony said he really didn't want to deal with this. "Once again thank you."

"He'd be on the tape" he said.

"Okay, we'll let you know if we need your help" Tony said to him, before heading out of the office and apartment building.


	6. Why didn't you tell me?

**Chapter Six - "Why didn't you tell me?"**

Tony walked back into the bullpen only to find McGee at his desk working on something and Gibbs nowhere to be found. Tony walked over to his desk and put his stuff down, before walking over to McGee's desk. He needed to know what he missed while he was gone, more importantly how Ziva was going.

"McGee" Tony said to get McGee attention. McGee looked up at him.

"Boss has been wondering where you've been" McGee said to him.

"Working on a new lead" Tony said to him, trying not to say too much in case it didn't pan out. "How's Ziva?"

"Not well" McGee said to him. "She might be putting on a brave face, but something is going on"

"I was afraid of that" Tony said.

"I went to check on her and she nearly jumped out of her skin when I touched her shoulder" McGee told him.

"And she nearly shot my head off when she first came back" Tony said to him. "This isn't the Ziva we know."

"She's up in the conference room" McGee said to him. Tony was glad he didn't have to ask.

"If Gibbs asked, working on a new lead. If it works out will call you" Tony said to him before heading towards the conference room.

As Tony walked to the conference room he couldn't help but think about everything that had gone down the last couple of months. He didn't know why he didn't see something wasn't right. Ziva had been gone awhile and all he did was call to make sure she was okay. He was kicking himself for not going to see her, and then he would have known. Tony walked to the door of the conference room and there he saw Ziva standing by the window, looking out it. Tony slowly walked in.

"Ziva" Tony said softly. Ziva snapped out of her trance and turned to face him. "Hey" He said with a small smile.

"Does Gibbs have more questions?" Ziva asked him.

"No, but I do" Tony said as he walked over to the table. "All the times we talked why didn't you once tell me you moved?"

"Why does that matter?" Ziva questioned him.

"I was just at your apartment building, because I remembered you told me about the new security system. I figured we could prove Matt really did kill Lily, by seeing if he entered her apartment and left around the time of the murder." Tony explained to her, even if he knew he wasn't really supposed to talk to her. "So I asked him about you and he said you moved out."

"Did it prove what you wanted?" Ziva said to him a bit cold.

"I wanted to talk to you first" Tony said. "You are my partner, but my friend first."

"I do not see what this has to do with any of this?" Ziva said confused.

"I'm worried about you, Zi." Tony said to her and walked a bit closer to her. "You have not been acting like yourself since you came back. Is there something else we don't know going on?"

"Matthew killed Lily, and now he is killing women who look like Lily in NCIS jurisdiction to hurt me." Ziva said to him. "I am fine Tony, I will be fine."

"You know I'm just a phone call away, right?" Tony said.

"Yes" Ziva said to him. "But I am fine."

"Okay" Tony said giving her another small smile, before heading out of the conference room.

Gibbs walked into the bullpen with a coffee in his hand, McGee was hard at work at his computer and once again Tony was nowhere to be seen. Gibbs stopped once he reached right before his desk and stopped. He turned to face McGee, who was very focused on what he was doing.

"Where's DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked him. McGee stopped what he was doing and looked up at Gibbs.

"He said he was looking into a lead and would let us know if anything panned out." McGee said to him.

"We got anything new?" Gibbs asked him, as he walked over behind his desk.

"I have been looking to see if I can find anything new, but I keep coming up empty" McGee said. "Ziva says his real name is Matthew Mackenzie, but there is no record of him anywhere. No bank records, no history, I think it was just another alias."

"So then find out who he really is" Gibbs said to him. He needed to find this guy and needed to find him three months ago.

"Abby's running facial recognition, ran all the prints at the scenes, I have put bolo, contacted FBI, CIA, local LEO's and still haven't heard anything back." McGee said to him. "I just think we are missing something here."

"We are" Before Gibbs could even say anything, they both heard Abby speak. They watched as she entered bullpen and walked over to Gibbs. She handed him a file.

"I was talking to a friend I have over at Metro, don't ask long story. I kind of own him a favor and he owes me a favor, but not the point." Abby said, starting to ramble a bit before catching herself and getting back on topic. "There was another victim and she survived. This attacked seemed to be different than the others; it's all in the report here. Don't ask how I got it, but it is part of our case so it's now ours."

"Abby" Gibbs said trying to get her to her point.

"Right" Abby said getting back on topic. "It was a week and a half before our first murder, as we have found out all the murders were spaced nicely two weeks apart." Abby said starting to get off topic again. "This was he wasn't trying to kill her, just hurt her. She reported it, just my friend said that she refuse to give them anything. So they have no case now. I didn't look at the file, figured you'd want to see it first."

"Thanks Abbs" Gibbs said to her, he then looked over at McGee. "See if you can track down this Jane Doe" Gibbs said to him.

"On it boss" McGee said to him.

"I have expanded my search with the facial recognition and the unknown finger prints. I will not stop until I know who he is and you find him." Abby said to Gibbs, before walked out of the bullpen and back to her lab. Gibbs sat down at his desk, picked up his glasses and put them on. He opened up the file Abby had given him and started reading it.

Tony walked off the elevator and into Abby's Lab to find she was nowhere to be found; he figured he must have just missed her. Tony walked more into her lab and over to her desk. He sat down and figured he'd just wait till she got back. They needed figure out if it was worth the trip or not, He was hoping it would tell them something they didn't already know. Just as Tony was getting comfy, Abby walked into her Lab, Tony shot up and walked over to her.

"Do you have the footage?" Abby asked him, as they walked over to her main computer.

"It's the last five months" Tony said as he handed the disk over to Abby. She opened it and placed it in her Computers CD-ROM drive. "Hopefully this wasn't all for nothing"

"Positive thoughts only Tony. We have Seven dead women, and possible an eighth if we don't find him first" Abby said to him.

"Wait what?" Tony said, hoping he heard her wrong. "We have another victim?"

"Well yes and no" Abby said to him. "He attacked someone after he killed Lily, only he didn't kill her. It's weird, she reported it, but she refused to give her name."

"So if we find her, we'll have to convince her to help us, but he left a live victim?" Tony said. He just didn't understand it at all. He had left all these dead bodies, only to leave one alive.

"I got something" Abby said, snapping Tony out of his thoughts. The two moved closer together as they looked at her computer screen. "It's the time just before Lily was murder and there he is…. And there he goes, into the apartment next to hers"

"Maybe we should have read the report first to see if they said anything about the footage" Tony said, known now Metro more like got the same thing they did, a whole lot of nothing.

"Wait, wait, wait, he is coming out of the apartment and there it is" Abby said to him.

"There what is?" Tony asked her, looking at the footage.

"He is coming out of the other apartment, after the murder." Abby said to him, as she pointed at the time. "It fits the time of the murder."

"Only problem is, he is going through the wrong door Abby, and there isn't a door inside that joins the room." Tony said to her. He wanted more than anything for this to be the smoke and gun, but all it told them was it wasn't Matt who killed Lily.

"What did I tell you about positive thoughts" Abby said, she then shrunk the video footage and pulled up a search. She started typing in the apartment complex, trying to find anything that could help prove he did it. After a while she was finally able to pull up a layout of the complex. "There is a small ledge between those two rooms."

"It's going to be hard to prove he did that Abby" Tony said to her. "Unless…"

"Unless the windows haven't been cleaned in the last three months" Abby said, finishing his thought for him.

"I'm going to go tell Gibbs. Maybe this might be the thing to finally nail this bastard" Tony said to her, before heading towards the door. Abby minimized the search she had and brought up the footage from the apartment building again.

"Tony. I think I might know who that Jane Doe is" Abby said to him. Tony turned back, heading back to her computer.

"What?" Tony said. Abby just pointed to the video. The two watched as it all unfolded, Tony finally figured out why he left that one victim alive. After the watched the door slam shut on the video, they turned and looked at each other.

"You don't think…." Abby started to say, but Tony cut her off.

"Don't even say it." Tony said. He didn't really know what to think right now.

"But Tony?" Abby said. Tony could see how hard it was for Abby to watch, she was just about to the point of tears.

"Abby I need you to do me a favor. We never saw this, don't tell anyone" Tony said to her. "I will talk to Ziva and see if she can clear this up, but till then not a word."

"Tony" Abby said, as the tears started to fill her eyes.

"Promise me Abby" Tony said to her.

"I promise" Abby said and then tried to put on a smile.

"It will be okay" Tony said as he pulled her into a hug. "It will be okay"


	7. Breathe

**Chapter Seven - "Breathe"**

After Tony left Abby's lab, he went straight up to the conference room to see Ziva. He knew she barely talked about anything she didn't have to, but he was hoping she'd be able to explain this. He was hoping it was all just a misunderstanding, that what happened afterwards was better than the beginning they saw. Once Tony reached the conference room, he took a deep breath before entering. As he entered he saw Ziva pacing back and forth, he knew she didn't want to be there. She wanted to be with them working the case, but she was too close to the case now. Tony was afraid she was even closer to the case name then before.

"Ziva" Tony said softly, trying not to spook her. Ziva stopped pace and turned to look at Tony. "We need to talk."

"I have told Gibbs everything I know" Ziva said to him.

"Not everything" Tony said. He really didn't want to even have to talk to Ziva about this, but the fact was he did.

"What do you mean?" Ziva questioned him.

"Ziva what happened between you and Matt a week after Lily's murder?" Tony asked her, as he moved closer to her.

"Nothing" Ziva said quickly, almost too quickly for Tony.

"I saw the tape Ziva, what happened?" Tony said to her. He made sure not to mention Abby. He figured if maybe Ziva thought he was the only one that knew then she'd talk to him.

"Nothing" Ziva said to him.

"Ziva, I saw it" Tony said to her, moving a bit closer again.

"You do not know what you saw Tony" Ziva said coldly. "What you saw and what you think you saw were two completely different things."

"Then tell me Ziva" Tony said to him.

"This is not important to any of this" Ziva said. Tony knew she was trying to get off the subject, and trying to get off it badly.

"It is important Ziva, he has killed seven women, one of them being your friend" Tony said to her. "And there is another one out there; he left one alive for who knows what reason. You know what I think, I think you are the one he left alive and I want to know why that is."

"You have no idea what you are talking about Tony" Ziva snapped at him. "This goes way beyond your crazy movies and your theories and everything."

"Then explain it to me Ziva" Tony said to her. "I am your friend and your partner. I have your back remember." He said to her, as he moved even closer to her and took her hand in his. "I am not going to back down from this Zi, I care about you too much to walk away and let you deal with this alone. You have people who care about you here. Don't push us away."

"When I answered the door to find him standing there, I tried to shut it, but he just pushed it opened and entered anyways. He told me he was going to make my life a living hell, because it was my fault Lily was dead." Ziva started to explain to him as her eyes started to water. "He said he was going to make me suffer first, before he came back and killed me. I told him it was no use threating me, because it was an empty threat" He said to her. "After he left, I felt a little uneasy. I might have put on a brave face, but something about him did scare me. So after that, I went looking for a new place, hoping if I moved he would have a harder time finding me, but I'd still be able to find him."

"Why didn't you come to us Ziva" Tony asked her.

"It is not your battle to be fought Tony" Ziva said, pulling her hands away from Tony's. She then wiped away any and all tears she had. "He is after me, and it was always about me and I was not about to let anyone of you get dragged into this miss."

"We could have helped you Ziva" Tony said to her. "You didn't have to deal with it alone"

"Ziva" Before Ziva or Tony could say another word; they were interrupted by Gibbs walking into the conference room, with his nose in the file Abby had given him earlier. They both turned and looked at him, just as he looked up and at them. "DiNozzo?"

"I was just looking for you boss. Got a new lead, going to go find McGee and check it out" Tony said, he turned back to Ziva and gave her a small smile, before walking past Gibbs and heading out of the room. He just didn't head to the bullpen; she stayed by the door, wanting to know what going on.

"We need to talk" Gibbs said to her as he closed the door. He walked over and took a seat, putting the file down on the table that he had in his hand.

"I can explain" Ziva said, once she say the file.

"You should have come to me Ziva" Gibbs said her. Ziva walked over and sat down in the chair next to him.

"I did, when I arrived at your house I saw your father was there. I did not want to burden you with this and ruin your visit with your father. After I left I ask Director Vance for some time off, told him I was moving and things got a little complicated, that I had family in town and I had the funeral. He did not question it and told me to take the time I needed." Ziva explained to him.

"Ziva you could never be a burden to me" Gibbs said to her, he reached out and touched her hand and for the first time she didn't pull back.

"This was my mess and I needed to clean it up" Ziva said to him. "Rule 45."

"Rule 52" Gibbs said to her. "Strength isn't just being able to go it alone; it's also being able to ask for help." Ziva closed her eyes, and a few tears ran down her cheeks. She reopened her eyes and looked at Gibbs.

"I am not proud of what happened" Ziva started to say to him. "I was weak and I should not have been. It is my fault Gibbs; I put this whole thing in motion."

"Ziva don't for a second think or say that" Gibbs said as he stood up and moved closer to her. "This is not your fault."

"If I had not said anything to Lily…" Ziva started to say.

"No" Gibbs said interrupting her. "You were trusting your judgment, you didn't think Matthew was good news and you told her. What happened after you couldn't have predicted."

"I still got her killed" Ziva said to him. "And now this; He told me he wanted me to pay for what I had done and that death was too easy. He said he was going to make me suffer, so that I felt the way he did when I took Lily from him."

"He's messing with your head Ziva, you can't let him get to you" Gibbs said to her. "If you give him all the power he wins. You are stronger Ziva, I know it, and I've seen it. You just need to find that again, because if you don't this will eat you alive"

"No she is gone Gibbs" Ziva said to him. She moved away from him and looked back out the window.

"No she's not." Gibbs said to her. "You are one of the strongest people I know and one of the toughest. You have been through hell and back, and you are still standing."

"Maybe I have just been through too much" Ziva said to him as she turned to face him again. "Because I can barely stand now" Ziva said, trying so hard to hold back the tears. "I nearly shot Tony this morning, and just a little while ago, McGee said my name, and jumped. I do not think I can take this anymore Gibbs."

"Ziva" Gibbs started to say, but once he saw the tears falling form her eyes he walked over and pulled her into a hug. He knew Ziva would come around, but right now this was what she needed and this was what he was going to let her do. He was going to make sure he found the bastard and make him pay for everything.

* * *

><p>AN: this was supposed to be a Tiva story in the end, but kind of took on a life of it's own. Still working that out.<p> 


	8. Keep Searching

**Chapter Eight - "Keep Searching"**

Tony walked down the hall back towards the bullpen. He couldn't believe Ziva lied straight to his face. Sure he could understand why she did it, but at the same time he couldn't understand it. Of course she'd tell Gibbs, he knows everything anyways. It was just who he was. He thought she trusted him that she knew he'd always be there for her, but no she lied to him, so he'd stop asking questions. Tony walked into the bullpen and walked over to McGee's Desk.

"I have a lead" Tony said to McGee not caring if he made sense right now. He was still trying to make sense of everything else.

"A new one or the one you won't tell us about?" McGee Questioned.

"Both" Tony said. "Ziva's building has security cameras. I was able to get the last five months of footage. Abby and I watched it and we found our suspect around the victim's apartment around the time death. Now we need to prove he was there"

"It's been months, if there was anything left to find it'd be gone by now" McGee said to him.

"Not where we have to look. Now let's go" Tony said. He then walked over to his desk and grabbed his bag before heading towards the elevator, McGee following behind.

"Everything okay Tony?" McGee asked once the elevator doors closed.

"Yeah I'm fine" Tony said, he was more side tracked with everything going on with Ziva the anything about himself.

"You seem distracted" McGee said to him.

"Look we have a case we need to focus on" Tony said almost in defense.

"This is about Ziva isn't it" McGee said. "You always get defensive when it involves Ziva."

"Fine I'm worried about her, that bastard is after her." Tony snapped at him.

"We're all worried about her" McGee said. "We'll find him before her hurts her."

"Too Late" Tony said under his breath.

"You okay Ziva" Abby said peering her head into the conference room. Abby had seen Gibbs leave and decided to check on Ziva. She knew he should stay in her lab, but wanted to see her friend. Abby also knew she had to make it seem like everything was okay when she knew it was far from it, but she made the promise to Tony.

"Abby" Ziva said looking up at her. "I am fine."

"I know this must be tough for you" Abby said as she walked into the room and over to Ziva. "Must be bringing up some bad memories, If you want to talk I'm here."

"There is nothing left to talk about" Ziva said to her almost emotionless.

"Okay" Abby said, not believing it. She knew what she saw, she just wonder what Tony had found out. "In case you need to talk you know where to find me." Abby gave her a smile.

"I know" Ziva said.

"We are getting closer to finding him and getting enough evidence to prove he's guilty" Abby said to her, hopping it be good news.

"You should not be telling me this Abby" Ziva said to her.

"I know, but I was hoping it be good news for you" Abby said to her.

"That is sweet, but I do not want to get you in trouble for telling me" Ziva said to her.

"I won't" Abby said. "I'm not telling you details, just cliff notes."

"Abby" Ziva said.

"Okay fine, I was never here" Abby said and then exited the conference room.

"Send her home Agent Gibbs" Vance said to him. Once Vance had gotten word of everything about the case he called Gibbs right into his office. He wanted to make sure nothing could screw up this investigation.

"She is a witness to a crime, and the only witness we have" Gibbs said to him, but that wasn't the whole truth.

"Get her statement and send her home. We can't have her on the case" Vance said to him.

"She's not on the case. She is in the conference room where I have told her to stay" Gibbs said to him.

"Send her home" Vance said to him. "That is an order not a request."

"He is after her, I'm not about to let her leave so he can go after her" Gibbs said to Vance.

"What is really going on here Agent Gibbs?" Vance asked him.

"He blames Ziva for everything that has gone wrong. We believe he will go after her" Gibbs said to him, again only using half of the truth. "She is here for protection."

"I will put a detail on her, so send her home" Vance said.

"She is my agent Leon" Gibbs said to him.

"No she is MY agent" Vance snapped at him correcting him.

"The last thing she needs is to be surrounded by strangers." Gibbs said. "My team is capable of protecting her and doing their job."

"Okay, but she is to never leave's your sight" Vance said. "She does anything to screw this up and we will lose this case."

"I have taught my team better" Gibbs said.

"I hope so or it's your head" Vance said. Gibbs headed out of the office and back down to his desk, where Abby was waiting for him.

"How's she doing Gibbs" Abby asked him. She knew she had gone to see Ziva only minutes before, but Ziva was good at hiding how she really felt and Gibbs was always one to know the truth.

"Okay" Gibbs said.

"No really" Abby said. "She's hiding something I know it."

"Abby, Ziva will be fine. We just need to worry about catching our killer" Gibbs said to her. She knew he was holding back.

"We are doing everything that we can, but he's just a bit too good" Abby said to him.

"Then we need to be one step ahead of him. "Gibbs said. "We need to get in his head to stop him before he kills again."

"Rule 35" Abby said, she then walked over to McGee's desk and started to go through the crime scene photos. She then pulled up a photo that included some of the crown. "You said to get in his head. Rule 35…"

"Always watch the watcher" Abby said and Gibbs said together.

"If he is trying to get to Ziva, chances are he returned to the crime scene to see if Ziva was there" Abby said as he started to scan the photo. "He knows how to appear and vanish without anyone noticing, so there is a chance he was there."

"We know what he looks like" Gibbs said to her.

"He's a chameleon Gibbs" Abby said to him. "He knows how to blend in without being seen."

"Can you find him?" Gibbs asked.

"Give me a minute" Abby said, she then pulled up a picture on the plasma and zoomed in to show a guy in sun glasses and dirty blonde hair. "That's him."

"Are you sure?" Gibbs said looking at the picture.

"I'll have to check it, but yes sure that is him." Abby said. Gibbs turned to her.

"I want you to check the rest of the crime scene photos and find him" Gibbs said to her. Abby got up and started to leave. "Abby, good job" He said to her. She smiled at him before leaving.


	9. Got Yeah

**Chapter Nine - "Got Yeah"**

Tony and McGee walked off the elevator and back into the bullpen. It had been a couple hours, but they believe they finally found what they were looking for. It hadn't been easy to get the evidence they needed, but if it put their suspect at the crime scene it was worth it in the end.

"I will find Gibbs, you take the evidence down to Abby" Tony said. McGee quickly grabbed his bag and headed down to Abby's Lab. Tony headed towards the conference room, hoping Gibbs was there with Ziva. Once he got to the conference room he peered in to see Ziva staring out the window and no sign of Gibbs. Tony ignored that and walked into the room. "Ziva" Tony said softly. Ziva turned to see Tony standing there.

"Tony" Ziva said a bit surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for Gibbs" Tony said, it wasn't a complete lie. "Also wanted to see how you were doing?"

"I am fine" Ziva said to him. Tony knew that was a lie.

"Okay" Tony said to her with a small attitude.

"Is something wrong Tony?" Ziva asked him.

"No, I'm just not going to waste my breath telling you something that clearly doesn't matter" Tony said to her. He really didn't mean it, he was just still angry that she lied to him.

"I am not sure what are you talking about" Ziva said to him.

"I thought you trusted me, Ziva" Tony said to her.

"I do trust you" Ziva said to him, even more confused.

"I don't think you do" Tony said to her. He knew this wasn't the time to be discussing this, but he just couldn't stop himself.

"What is going on Tony?" Ziva asked him.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter" Tony said, now trying to drop the subject. "We found something, just waiting for Abby to confirm it."

"Gibbs was here" Ziva said to him. "He offered me some coffee and then left."

"He must be on a coffee run" Tony said. "I'll find him." Tony said before starting to leave.

"Tony" Ziva said to him. Tony stopped and turned to face her. "I do trust you, and I know you are here." Tony just gave her a small half smile and then left.

"So you really got prints three months later?" Abby asked him as she entered the prints into the system.

"Well we got prints wither they are his prints, has yet to be seen" McGee said to her. "These are the prints of the current tenants" McGee said as he handed her more prints.

"Well hopefully we will get a match" Abby said.

"Were you able to find him, Abs?" Gibbs said as he walked into Abby's lab with a coffee in his hand and a Caf-Pow in the other.

"I was able to find him in three other photos for three different crime scenes." Abby said to him. Gibbs walked over to her h and handed her the Caf-Pow. "He was watching waiting to see something"

"Most likely looking for Ziva" McGee questioned.

"Does that mean he was stalking her" Abby questioned.

"No he was just watching to see her react to the murder" Gibbs said. "He's trying to hurt her and only way he knows he's getting to her is if he can see it himself"

"Now that he knows Ziva is back, what is he going to do now" Abby asked concerned for her friend.

"We are going to make sure we don't find out" Gibbs said. Because anyone could say another word Abby's computer dinged. "What was that?"

"The prints" Abby said. She turned to her computer and minimized the photos to find the prints got a match. A picture of a guy with dark brown hair, slightly different features popped up on Abby's screen with wanted info and a name, Ethan Vasquez. "I thought Ziva said his name was Matthew Mackenzie?"

"I thought he wasn't in the system" McGee said looking at the computer screen.

"Looks like we aren't the only ones looking for him" Gibbs said. Just then Tony walked in to find them all looking at Abby's Computer screen. "Abby I want you to run that photo with the photos we have. I want to know that is who we are looking for."

"What did I miss?" Tony said as he walked in and over to Abby and McGee.

"We might have just caught a break" McGee said to him. "We got a match on the prints, looks like your idea wasn't so crazy after all."

"So we can prove he was in the room at the time of the murder?" Tony said.

"Care to fill me in DiNozzo?" Gibbs said to him.

"Long story or shorten version?" Tony said to him.

"Story that proves this will not screw this up" Gibbs said to him.

"I remembered Ziva mentioned a while ago, that her apartment complex had gotten security cameras, so I went to check it out. With the help us the landlord he gave us the tapes for the past five months. Abby here went through them and we found our suspect entering the apartment next to the victim's apartment" Tony started to explain to him. "So after careful research we found the building had a small ledge he could have got from one apartment to the other. I knew it was a long shot, but the best one we had at the time. We dusted the railing and windows and everything we could hoping to find prints."

"Sure enough we found something" McGee said to him.

"Now someone just needs to find me him" Gibbs said to them.

"Checking the bolo now boss" McGee said. He moved over to the other computer that was next to the one Abby was using and pulled up the bolo they had put up. "It's got a hit" McGee said before pulling it up. "Looks like someone spotted a guy with this description at a motel just outside of town. It just gives us the Motel."

"Give me a second" Abby said. He minimized everything she had and pulled up a fresh page. She typed in the motel name and within minutes she was able to get information on the motel. "They really need to stop making this so easy" Abby said, she then pulled up the list of everything staying at the motel. "No Matthew Mackenzie, but there is a Mitch Jones staying there" Abby said to them.

"The boyfriend of second victim" Tony said. "Well our first but his second."

"DiNozzo" Gibbs snapped.

"Shutting up boss" Tony said.

"Here's the address and room number" Abby said, writing it down on a piece of paper.

"DiNozzo, McGee, go pick him up" Gibbs said. Abby handed the paper to McGee. McGee and DiNozzo headed out of the lab and on their way. Gibbs walked over to Abby, leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Good work Abby" He said before heading out as well.

Tony and McGee arrived at the motel and before they could park, they saw him heading to what they could only assume was his room. Tony put the car in park and let McGee know where he was. The two, undid their seat belts and grabbed their guns. They slowly got out of the car and Tony signaled to McGee to go around the other side and the two would corner him. McGee nodded and they headed on their way. They were slowly approaching the suspect when he turned his head to look and saw Tony. He turned his head the other way and saw McGee coming at him. Without a second thought he took off running in the opposite direction.

"He's running" Tony yelled as McGee and he went running after him. "NCIS freeze" they started chasing him through some trees and before Tony knew it the suspect and McGee were nowhere to be found. "McGee" Tony yelled, hoping McGee would respond. Instead he heard this loud thud, and ran towards it. When he got to where the noise was, he saw the suspect on the ground and McGee hand cuffing him.

"What took you so long DiNozzo?" McGee said to him.

"Real funny McGee" Tony said to him. He then helped McGee get the suspect back on his feet. "In case you didn't know you're under arrest. Now let's go" Tony said, and then three headed back to the car. Once they got back to the car, they put the suspect in the back seat, before Tony and McGee got in the front seats and headed back to the Navy Yard.

* * *

><p>AN: To tell you the truth, had Fornel in this chapter, but totally rewrote it because he was like in it for a few sentences and then you never see him again. So basically there was no pay off and He is far to awesome to do that to him. Maybe he'll show up in later chapters you never know.<p> 


	10. Remaining Silent

**Chapter Ten - "Remaining Silent"**

Ziva sat there staring at nothing in the conference room. Everyone had seemed to have gone to do something. The conversation she just had with Tony did not sit well with her. She knew she could not dwell on it, she just hoped if Tony had an issue he would come to her. Then again that was what this was all about, her having an issue and not going to Tony. She could not tell if he was talking about the case or not. She just needed to think about something else. All this waiting around was not something she did not do very well. Ziva got up from the chair and walked back over to the window. She looked out the window, and there she saw peace and stillness. The view from the window reminded her of the view from Lily's apartment. You could see the street and sidewalks full of people, yet Lily could see the calm through the ciaos. She remembered one time when Lily was knocking at her door at 3am in the morning, and telling her to come to the window. Lily was showing Ziva how the silence was much louder than the noise made during the day with the cars and the people. It was almost like Lily was woken up by the silence of the night. That was always one thing she loved about Lily, she wasn't afraid to be who she was. Ziva knew Lily always brought the best out in her. There was just something about the first time they meet.

"_Can I help you?" Ziva said as she closed her door. She had seen this woman who was about the same height as her trying to lift far more then she could. Ziva had a feeling things might not end well. _

"_I have it" the women said as she tried to get the boxed into the door. _

"_Are you sure?" Ziva questioned. "It looks like you still have a lot to carry. I do not mind."_

"_Maybe can you just grab one box?" the women ask Ziva. Ziva walked over and instead of taking one from the floor, she took the one on top of the two the women was trying to carry. The women then opened the door and then two walked into the apartment. "As you can see I'm new here."_

"_I am Ziva" Ziva said to her with a small smile. The women put down the box on the floor to what looked like a living room. It at least for right now didn't have much in it, but a bookcase. Ziva put the box down next to the other one. "I live across the hall"_

"_Lily" Lily said to Ziva. "Thank you for the help."_

"_I did not feel right leaving you with all these boxes you could not carry. It was bond to end badly, I would know" Ziva said to her. _

"_Same thing happened to you?" Lily asked her. _

"_Kind of" Ziva said to her. "I have moved in and out of a couple apartments over the years."_

"_And I thought moving cross country was bad" Lily said to her. "But of course you don't want to listen to any of this. I'm sure you were on your way somewhere."_

"_Actually I was just meeting a co-worker for lunch, but they will understand" Ziva said to her. "Like I said I do not mind, plus it is a big bag scary place out there."_

"_Do you have any idea what you are trying to say right now?" Lily said with a laugh and of course Ziva couldn't help but laugh too. _

"_I sometimes get some phrases mixed up" Ziva said to her. "So you'll have to bare with me."_

"_I think I can do that" Lily said with a smile. "And I'm glad I have someone like you looking out for me Ziva."_

"_I am I not doing thing right?" Ziva questioned her. _

"_No you're doing fine" Lily said to her with a laugh. "I expected most people to ignore me, not to this."_

"_Why?" Ziva said confused. _

"_No one likes a new girl" Lily said to her. "But it doesn't matter to me, never did and never will." Lily said with a smile. _

"_Okay okay now the rules are simple all you have to do is drink if the answer is yes and if it's no then you don't drink" Lily said to Abby and Ziva who were sitting across from her. Ziva and Lily had planned a girl's night out and Ziva had asked Abby to come along. She figured the more people the more fun the night would turn out to be and she knew Lily would be more than thrilled to have Abby with them. _

"_I still do not understand" Ziva said to her, Lily and Abby just laughed. From the minute the girls all met at the bar they had hit it off. Ziva was glad that Lily and Abby had liked each other right away. And she could tell Abby was happy to be part of this night as well. _

"_Okay we are just going to go around asking have you ever and you just answer yes or no but with drinks" Abby said trying to explain it to her. "Like have you ever danced on a table and I'll say yes so I'll drink."_

"_And I'll say yes so I will drink too" Lily said and both her and Abby downed two shots._

"_Okay I think I understand now. I will learn these American games" Ziva said to them. _

"_So now have you ever slept with a co-worker" Lily said. Without a word both Ziva and Abby picked up a shot and downed it. Abby looked at Ziva in shock. _

"_I want details" Abby said to her._

"_It was a long time ago" Ziva said to her. _

"_Abby's right I want details too" Lily said. _

"_We are here to enjoy and not talk about work" Ziva said trying to avoid the conversation. _

"_It was Tony wasn't it" Abby said with smirk on her face. _

"_Abby" Ziva said her. _

"_It was so Tony" Lily said to Abby. The two looked at each other and agreed. _

"_We are now moving out" Ziva said to them. _

"_On" Lily said correcting her with a laugh. "You mean moving on."_

"_Don't worry your secrets safe with us" Abby said to Ziva with a little wink. _

"_So you remember that guy I told you about?" Lily said as they walked into her apartment. Ziva had remembered Lily had mentioned this guy she had been talking too, but never thought it was anything more than just some random guy hitting on her. _

"_Yes" Ziva said to her. They walked into Lily's living room and sat down on the couch. Lily turned to face Ziva. _

"_Well he finally asked me out" Lily said to Ziva with a big smile on her face. "He's everything I ever wanted Ziva. He's sweet, caring, has come back to the coffee shop every morning just to see me. His personality, he's almost too good to be true."_

"_Maybe he is" Ziva said more as a joke. She was happy that Lily was happy._

"_Trust me I am looking for that flaw, but there isn't one." Lily said to her. "I won't go as far as saying he's the one; I'll give him a month or two before I say that. If things work out I'd really like you to meet him. I trust your opinion more than anything."_

"_You might regret that" Ziva with a small laugh. _

"_Never" Lily said to her. "You have a good sense of people. But let me get through a couple dates."_

"_I hope all works out for you Lily" Ziva said to her. _

"_Thanks" Lily said giving her a big smile. "I don't know what I did to get a friend like you, but I'm glad I have you." Lily then pulled Ziva into a hug. _

"Ziva" a voice pulled her back to reality. Ziva turned around to see McGee standing not far from the door. She slightly wondered how long he had been standing there.

"McGee" Ziva said to him.

"We caught him" McGee said to her. Ziva honestly didn't expect to hear those words for another couple of days. Or maybe just being locked in a room with her thoughts made her think it would take longer than it did.

"I want to see him" Ziva said to him. She started to move closer to McGee.

"Ziva" McGee said almost as a you know I can't do that response.

"I can prove that is really him" Ziva said to him, trying to give him a good reason why to let her see Matt. "I know I am the only one that truly knows what he looks like."

"Gibbs wants to make sure you stay here" McGee said to her. "I can't Ziva."

"McGee I need to know that is really him" Ziva said to him almost pleading with him. She moved even closer to him. "I will not get in the way and Gibbs will never know."

"Okay fine, just for a few minutes" McGee said to her. "But if anyone asks you threatened me."

"Thank you McGee" Ziva said to him.

"Don't thank me yet" McGee said to her. He and Ziva then headed out of the conference room.

"I don't need a lawyer, you ain't got nothing on me" Matt said to them. Tony and Gibbs just looked at each other before looking back at him.

"You're right, we don't have anything on you" Gibbs said to him. Matt just leaned back in the chair as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"But that is why we arrested you" Tony said to him. Tony got up from his chair, took the folder in front of him and walked over so he was next to Matt. He placed the folder down and opened it. He then picked up two pictures and placed then right in front of Matt. "See we have you going into the apartment here and leaving the apartment here around the time of Lillian Carters murder. I have a few guys at metro who own me favors, so they are running a few things for me and once they get back to me. It's going to prove you killed her."

"But we got nothing on him" Gibbs said to Tony.

"That's right" Matt said to them. He looked at the photos and back to Tony. "I know for a fact this Lillian you speak off lived in this apartment" He said pointing to the other apartment in the picture. "Or at least what they said in the news report and see I'm going into the other one. I had friends who lived there, so was visiting them."

"So you don't know Lillian Carter?" Gibbs questioned him.

"Should I?" Matt questioned back. They knew exactly what he was doing.

"We have a source that says you and Lillian were involved." Tony asked him. "And you were living together up in till two weeks before her death."

"Your source is clearly mistaken me for something else. Don't know here and never did" Matt said to him.

"Really?" Tony said questioning his story. "We'll have to check that story, but in the mean time you don't know any of these women?" Tony said laying out all the photos of the victims, including one of Ziva. Tony hated she had to be added to the mix, but as of now it was to see if he'd give anything up.

"I know they are all smokin" Matt said to him. Both Gibbs and Tony noticed he was looking at Ziva picture a lot longer than any of the other women. "Why should I?"

"They are all the women you murder" Tony said to him, getting right in his face.

"I didn't do anything" Matt said to him.

"I guess we have the wrong guy then" Gibbs said.

"I guess so" Matt said to him.

"Let's go DiNozzo, we got nothing" Gibbs said to him as he got up from the chair. "We are a little backed up, so it will be a bit before you go home."

"Don't worry the guards will keep you company" Tony said to him. He picked up all the picture and put them back in the folder. He picked up the folder and then headed out of the interrogation room with Gibbs.


	11. Unraveling

**Chapter Eleven - "Unraveling"**

She watched him through the glass; he was all smug and cocky as if he knew he just got away with everything he had done. Gibbs said it himself there was nothing linking him to any of the murders, nothing. Ziva just couldn't figure out why there would be nothing, there had to be something anything to prove he did it, they had said they were getting closer. They had said they would be able to prove he killed all those women. He wasn't going to just walk out of here and get away with it all. Ziva wasn't about to let that happen, not now, not ever. She turned to the guy operating the feed for the interrogation room.

"Gibbs asked me if you could go and take a walk, a long walk" Ziva said to him. The guy didn't question it, he got up and left. Ziva left the observation room, and walked into the interrogation room. Without saying a word, she walked over picked up the empty chair and then put it under the door knob. She wanted to make sure no one could come in, she needed to do this and if Gibbs or any of them knew they'd try and stop her. She turned to face Matt; he just looked at her with this evil smile.

"Oh look Ziva's trying to be big and bad and scary" Matt said, almost as if he was talking to a little kid. Ziva just walked over to where the chair she just took used to be. "I'm so scared."

"You will not be getting away with this" Ziva finally said to him.

"I already have" Matt said to her, as he leaned back in the chair. "So what are going to do to stop me?"

"Nothing" Ziva said to him.

"Well that's weak" Matt said with a laugh. "I really thought you had more fire Ziva. You sure did before."

"Rule Sixteen" Ziva said. She knew he'd never understand what she was talking about, but that was the point.

"I think someone's losing their mind" Matt said to her. "Now what per say is rule sixteen?"

"You will not be getting away with this" Ziva said to him again.

"You stupid little girl" Matt said to her. He got up from his chair and walked around the table and over to her. "I already have." He said with a laugh. "Your little friends can't pin anything on me, I made sure of that. Those women, they were just pawns in a game, useless." Matt moved closer to her, so he was only a few inches away from her. "But you, you're like all the rest. You keep your mouth shut, so it's as if it never happened."

"You're wrong" Ziva said, she really wanted to back away, but she knew she had to hold her ground and stay strong. Otherwise he'd think he was getting to her.

"Look at you trying to be all strong" Matt said mocking her a bit. "I'm guessing no one is around, because if they were, I'd already be 'dead', right?" Matt laughed again. "You made a big mistake coming in here, and an even bigger one locking the door." He just gave her an evil smile. Ziva swallowed hard, she knew what he was talking about, but wasn't about to let that happen, not again. All she was trying to make him confess, or do anything that would get him to prove he killed all those women. She really thought Gibbs would have been back by now or at least someone would be around. "It's just you and me, Ziva." He brought his hand up and gently touched her face. "Alone again."

"Is there anything we can use?" Gibbs asked Tony and McGee. They were up a creak without a paddle and weren't sure how to swim back to shore.

"Abby is working on it, but right now it's all 'circumstantial'" McGee said using air quotes around circumstantial.

"So we need to get him to confess" Tony added in. "I think I have an idea" Tony then pulled something out of his desk, before looking up. "I'll meet you back in interrogation" Tony said before taking off.

Gibbs just shook his head, he didn't know what Tony was planning, but if it worked then he'd be happy. He and McGee started to head back towards to the interrogation room, when they noticed the tech operator heading back that way as well.

"Gary, what are you doing?" Gibbs asked. Gary stopped and turned and looked at Gibbs.

"Agent David said you asked me to take one of those long walks" Gary said to Gibbs.

"Damn it, Ziva" Gibbs said before taking off to the interrogation room, McGee and Gary following close behind. Once they got there, they all walked into the observation room. "Turn that damn camera on" Gibbs yelled before rushing out of the room. He walked over to the door, and started hitting his with his side to get it open. He didn't care if he ended up dislocating his shoulder he wasn't going to stop till he got into this door.

"So tell me Ziva you scared yet" He said to her. Ziva knew she was, but she wasn't about to let him see. She needed him to think he had it all and let him just talk.

"You cannot hurt me" Ziva said to him, trying to stay strong. Just then they heard pounding on the door. Ziva knew that meant Gibbs had found out. She knew she only had a small window.

"You want to bet. I'm guessing it won't be long before your boss gets through that door." Matt said to her. "Which means you're smarter than I thought you were Ziva. You knew he'd come running. "

"You are not as smart as you like to think you are" Ziva said to him. Matt moved closer to her, Ziva swallowed hard.

"Or so you think…" He started to say as he brought his hand up again, he then lean in to her ear. "Ziver" As soon a Ziva heard him call her by that name, she heard Gibbs voice in her head. _"You've gotta trust your judgment, Ziva. Moment you don't, it won't be almost." _… "_You are stronger Ziva, I know it, and I've seen it. You just need to find that again." … "You are one of the strongest people I know and one of the toughest. You have been through hell and back, and you are still standing." _Something inside Ziva snapped, Ziva grabbed his hand, turned him around and pushed him down on the table. Holding him there with all her might.

"You messed with the wrong person" Ziva sapped at him. Just then the chair fell down and Gibbs came rushing in.

"This bitch is crazy" Matt said, trying to pin everything on Ziva.

"Don't I know it" Gibbs said as if he wasn't anything knew. He walked over and took Ziva place, only instead of holding him, pulled him up and hand cuffed him. "You should get that lawyer now." Gibbs said to him as he brought him back to the chair he was first sitting him and pushed him down to sit in it. "Ziva. Outside. Now" Gibbs said. Ziva without another word, walked out. Gibbs walked over, picked up the chair and put it back at the table, before leaving the room and closing the room. "What were you thinking?"

"I did what I needed to do" Ziva said to him.

"That was a stupid move for you and this case, Ziva." Gibbs said to her.

"What case Gibbs, you said so yourself you had nothing to prove he killed all those women. I gave you proof" Ziva said to him.

"We were playing him to get him to confess, we needed him to believe he had gotten away with it. He was more likely to slip up that way" Gibbs said to her. "This is why you needed to stay in the conference room."

"I needed him to confess and I got it" Ziva said to him, she then just walked past him and back towards the conference room.


	12. Leave on One Goodbye

**Chapter Twelve - "Leave on One Goodbye"**

McGee stood by the door to observation room, watching as Ziva walked away and left Gibbs standing there. They all didn't know how things had gotten to this point, but something was going to have to give. McGee opened that didn't mean Ziva was going to let go. They were a team and if they lost even just one member it just didn't work out the same. They had been there and done that and proved they work better with the seven of them, Ducky and Palmer included. McGee didn't really know what to say, or wither to say anything at all. Before he had a chance to even decided Tony came walking up.

"I got it, we ready?" Tony said.

"No, He lawyered up" Gibbs said.

"Did something happen?" Tony questioned.

"Who had the eyes on David?" Gibbs snapped.

"I…" McGee started to say, but was interrupted.

"It was me, Boss" Tony said. McGee wasn't completely sure why Tony was coving for him. "Then I got your message that you needed McGee and me. I guess I forgot to tell someone to watch her."

"Boss" McGee said finally stepping into the fold.

"McGee" Tony said trying to tell him to shut up.

"What McGee" Gibbs questioned.

"You yelled at me to turn the camera on, before you went to bust down the door. Well…." McGee started to say.

"Don't tell me she messed with that and we have nothing" Gibbs said.

"Not exactly" McGee said. "She never touched it. It was recording the whole time."

"Are you telling me that whole confession she just got, was caught on tape?" Gibbs asked.

"Yes" McGee said.

"This is a good thing right?" Tony questioned.

"It's a great thing" Gibbs said, and then walked away.

"I really feel like I am missing something" Tony said as he turned to McGee.

"Why'd you cover for me?" McGee asked him.

"I owe you one" Tony said to him. "This case hasn't been easy on any of us, and I haven't been easy on you. I know I'm normally a pain in the ass to you, but this time it was different. I didn't want you to get in trouble for something that was an honest mistake." Tony said to him. "Could have happen to any of us, plus we're partners."

"Thanks" McGee said to him. "Even though you didn't have to do that."

"Would you rather I go to Gibbs and say you brought her in the observation room, after she begged and possible threaten bodily harm to you?" Tony said being a smart ass.

"There is the Tony I know" McGee said. "Thanks. We should go"

"Yeah Gibbs is cooking something up" Tony said.

"Yeah" McGee said. The two then headed on their way back towards the bullpen

"You managed to get him to confess and still not screw this case up" Vance said to him. "I will give you that."

"We had everything we needed thanks to my teams, but I wanted him to confess" Gibbs told him. "All the evidence wasn't enough."

"Well done agent Gibbs" Vance said to him. "Now send them home, they all need a break." Without a word Gibbs left his office.

Tony and McGee walked into the bullpen and notice there was no Boss and no Ziva. They walked over to their desks, not really sure what to think about this. Both Ziva and Gibbs were gone and after what happened in interrogation things did not look good.

"You think Vance is…" McGee started to say.

"No" Tony said interrupting him. "We played this one by the book. Ziva knew what she was doing when she went in there. She knew the right and the wrong things to do."

"In her state of mind Tony, it's easy to get right and wrong mixed up." McGee said to him.

"I don't believe it" Tony said to him. "I chose to believe she knew we'd come running in once we knew she was in there. That she left that camera on because she knew he wouldn't think twice about it with her in there. I chose to believe all she wanted was for him to confess to everything."

"Believe what you want, but it's not always black and white Tony" McGee said to him.

"Pack up" they heard a voice said, and just then Gibbs walked into the bullpen.

"We got another dead body already?" Tony questioned.

"No you're all going home" Gibbs said, he then turned to see Ziva wasn't at her desk. "Where's David?"

"We thought she was with you?" Tony said to him.

Ziva walked into Vance office, she had thought about it long and hard and she knew this was the right decision. When she first came back, she wanted nothing more than to return to the team she knew and loved. She wanted to be a team again, even when Vance told her he wasn't so sure. Now it was her that wasn't too sure they could be a team again. She was messing up left and right and jumping when she shouldn't be. This wasn't who she was and it she didn't want to be the one to coast any of her team their life. She walked over to his desk and looked at Vance.

"Are you sure about this?" Vance asked her.

"Yes" Ziva said to him. She then took her badge and gun and placed them on Vance's desk. She then walked out of his office, and back down to the bullpen. Without a single word, she grabbed her stuff and headed out the building.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry it's a short chapter. I had more but couldn't figure out how to make it work. So went with this just to move the story along, it gets interesting next chapter.<p> 


	13. Things Unsaid

**Chapter Thirteen - "Things Unsaid"**

"You haven't heard from Ziva have you?" Tony asked McGee as then walked off the elevator.

"Not since, boss gave us the time off and she just walked out" McGee said. It really had been strange, after they had closed the Lily/Matthew case Gibbs had told them to take a few days, even more days for Ziva, but no one had heard from Ziva. Tony at least figured she maybe call one of them. "Maybe she's just needs more time to deal with it all"

"I just want to make sure she's okay" Tony said to McGee as then turned into the bullpen. They then stopped when they saw someone at Ziva's desk that wasn't Ziva at all. The person turned around and all of a sudden was extremely giddy to see them.

"You must be Agent's DiNozzo and McGee" The person said to them.

"And you are?" McGee said.

"Special Agent Melissa Daniels, It's a pleasure to meet you both" Melissa said to them. "But you can call me Missy or Mel. It's fine either way"

"Better question is why are you at Ziva's desk?" Tony asked a bit coldly.

"Agent David? She left and I'm the new member of your team" Melissa said to them.

"What do you mean she left?" Tony said to her.

"She turned in her badge" Melissa said to them, a little less peppy. "You didn't know?"

"No" Tony said to her.

"I thought you knew I'm sorry" Melissa said.

"It's not your fault" McGee said to her.

"How could Ziva just give up her badge like that" Tony questioned McGee. "After everything we did and everything Vance did to get her back here? How could she just do that to us?"

"Maybe Ziva just needs more time." McGee said to Tony as he watched over to his desk.

"Grab your gear" Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen before Tony could respond to Tim. Before Gibbs could say what for, he stopped dead in his tracks when he was someone that wasn't Ziva at her desk.

"You must be Agent Gibbs, Special Agent Melissa Daniels I was just transferred to your team" Melissa said to him. Without saying another word Gibbs walked out of the bullpen and straight up to Vance's office. "Does he do that a lot?"

"Yeah" Tony and McGee said.

Gibbs walked up the stairs, past the secretary's desk and right into Vance's office without caring if Vance was busy or not. He needed to know why Ziva was gone and why he had someone new. When Gibbs had given the team the days off he expected to see them all back, not only two of them. He was going to get to the bottom of this one way or another.

"I'll have to call you back" Vance said into the phone. "There is a door for a reason."

"Where is she?" Gibbs asked, ignoring Vance's door statement.

"Agent David handed in her badge and gun. She is no longer part of this agency" Vance said to him.

"You and I both know damn well she'd never leave on her own" Gibbs said to him, as if accusing Vance of giving her an ultimatum.

"Despite what you know, she left on her own" Vance said as he stood up from his chair. "She had her mind made up when she came in here. Agent David is gone Gibbs, Agent Daniels is your new agent." Vance said to him. "This time I'm not giving you a choice. Agent Daniels is one of the best, you are lucky to have her."

"Send her to another team Leon. She will not replace Ziva." Gibbs said to him.

"She is not replacing Ziva that is impossible. Of that I know. She is simply just filling the vacant spot in your team." Vance said to him.

"Find her a new home" Gibbs said to Vance, before heading out of his office. He wasn't about to have yet another newbie. They had lost Ziva once and had to find someone new to fill the empty desk. He wasn't about to do that again. He knew Ziva was doubting herself after everything that had happened, and she just needed a reminder that that isn't who she is. Gibbs walked back towards the bullpen. "Tony, you're in charge" Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen and over to his desk. He grabbed his jacket and then headed towards the elevators.

Gibbs walked off the elevator and straight to Ziva apartment. He knew she was going to be sorry for telling him her new address, but he wasn't about to let things be left the way they were. He walked up to her apartment door and Knocked.

"I know you're in there Ziva" Gibbs said as he knocked again. Within a few minutes the door opened.

"I do not wish to talk" Ziva said.

"That's too bad" Gibbs said. Ziva sighed and then let Gibbs into her place. Once he was in, she closed the door and rejoined him.

"My decision is final." Ziva said to him.

"Why?" Gibbs questioned her.

"I am not that same person as I was when we first met, Gibbs" Ziva said to him. That one Gibbs already knew.

"I never said you had to be, Ziva" Gibbs said to her.

"You did not have to say it Gibbs" Ziva said. "But you are all thinking it."

"No we are not" Gibbs said. "We liked that Ziva yes, but we rather have you as the person you are now."

"That Ziva does not know who she is anymore." Ziva said as she walked over and sat down on her couch.

"Yes you do" Gibbs said and walked over to her. He sat down next to her. "You are letting him win."

"No I am doing this for me" Ziva said.

"No you're doing this because he's got you scared" Gibbs started to say to her. "He hurt you and now you're just letting him continue to hurt you. You are stronger then this I know you are Ziva."

"You do not know anything Gibbs" Ziva said, standing up and turning towards him. "You can say everything you say, but the fact is you do not know everything. You do not know how I feel. You do not have all the answers."

"Ziver" Gibbs said standing up from the couch.

"Do not Ziver me Gibbs" She snapped at him. "I have made my decision and I need you to respect it"

"Okay" Gibbs said to her. Ziva was right, he didn't know everything. He just knew Ziva, Tony, Abby, McGee and Ducky, after working with them for so long. Right now he knew Ziva needed space, and he was going to respect those wishes. "I'm here Ziva, my door is always open" He said to her. Normally he'd lean in and give her a kiss on the check or head, but right now it wasn't a good idea. He just gave her a half smile, before leaving.

"She just up and left Abby." Tony ranted as he was pacing around her lab. "Not saying a single word to any of us."

"Maybe she has a good reason" Abby said to him. "I mean after everything that's happened, maybe she just needs some space.

"Space we can give her, but this is not something someone does for space" Tony said to her. He stopped and looked at Abby. "She turned in her badge Abby. You don't do that unless you are quitting. Or trying to make a point" Tony said getting off topic a bit.

"Maybe she's trying to make a point?" Abby questioned.

"And that point is we really don't need her? Vance replaced her already" Tony continued to rant. "This isn't right, none of it is right."

"So maybe you should talk to her" Abby suggested.

"You are right. I should talk to her" Tony said to her. "Thanks for listening" Tony said before heading out of Abby's lab.

"What do you have so far?" Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen with a cup of coffee as if everything was perfectly fine and the same as always.

"Tony gave the case up" McGee said to him. "He asked Vance who else could take it and gave it to them. He vanished and have not seen him since."

"Look if this is about me..." Melissa started to say.

"It's not" Gibbs said interrupting her.

"I get it, I'm the new girl. I shouldn't be here" Melissa said to them. "I'm not here to replace her, I swear. I'm doing a favor for Vance. He asked me to fill a vacant spot temporally, so I agreed once I heard it was this team."

"He never intended you to stay?" McGee question.

"I don't know honestly. He just told me Ziva gave up her badge and he needed to fill the spot" Melissa explained to him. "I guess maybe he thought you all wouldn't approve so I wouldn't be staying long."

Tony walked off the elevator and straight to her apartment door. Took him some time to find her new place, but when he finally did, he was glad it wasn't too far from the Navy Yard. He brought his hand up, balled it into a fist and knocked on the door. He wasn't going to leave until he talked to Ziva. Within minutes the door started to up and there stood Ziva on the inside. By the look on her face, Tony could tell she wasn't surprised to see him.

"What on earth are you thinking" Tony said to her, he brushed past her and walked into her apartment. Ziva just closed the door and followed him. "I used to think I knew you, right now I don't even know who you are anymore."

"I do not even know who I am" Ziva said to him, not really responding to his statement.

"I told you Ziva, I have your back and I thought you knew that" Tony said to her, continuing on his rant not listening to what she said. "But for some reason you still feel the need to just get up and walk away. After everything we have done and everything Vance has done." Tony turned and looked at her. "Why? I just want to know why you left Ziva?"

"It is complicated Tony" Ziva said to him.

"Complicated?" Tony said to her. "What is so complicated?"

"You would not understand" Ziva said to him.

"Understand? Ziva I risked my entire career and my life for you, so don't tell me I won't understand" Tony said to her, slightly snapping at her, not meaning too. "You are walking away from this team, this family" Tony started to say, he then lowered his voice "From me." Ziva just looked up at him, not really sure what to say. "I'm your partner Ziva, but right now it seems I'm not even that anymore."

"Tony" Ziva started to say, but was quickly interrupted by Tony again.

"Don't" He said to her. He just needed to get this of his cheat. "I don't want to hear another lie. I thought we were past that and we actually trusted each other. Clearly I was wrong."

"I...I do trust you" Ziva said finally getting a word in.

"Really you have a strange way of showing it?" Tony snapped at her. "Why'd you tell Gibbs the truth and lie to me?"

"I…I…I" Ziva tried to say, but couldn't get the words out. "I was not trying to hurt you."

"Well you did a great job of that" Tony said to her. "I was here Ziva, I was here. All you have to do was call me and I would have come."

"I know that" Ziva said to him. "That is why I did not" she said to him. "I did not want you to see that person I became, that person he made me. I am not walking away from any of you; I am walking away because I do not trust myself. I have been through so much Tony, that I am sure you know, but right now I cannot be that person you all expect me to be."

"Expect you to be?" Tony said to her, not sure what she was saying with that comment. "Ziva we don't expect you to be anyone but who you are, we all mess up, we all have bad days. I know it's not the same, but at one point in our lives we all go through something that changes us in some way. It's supposed to be for the better, and sure it doesn't seem that way at first, but I promise you it will get better. The best thing to do is be surrounded by friends and family, don't lock yourself away hoping to make it go away, because it won't. You'll just be alone with those monsters you are trying to hide from. And in the end those monsters might win, so please don't push us away, because we are here and we won't leave you."

"I have made my decision and I need to live with it" Ziva said to him.

"I'm not going to let you do this Ziva. I won't" Tony said to her.

"It is already done" Ziva said.

"Then undo it" Tony said to her.

"I cannot" Ziva said to him. "It is not that simple, Tony."

"Then make it that simple" Tony said to her. He just wasn't about to let her walk away not again.

"It is what it is Tony" Ziva said.

"That's not good enough it will never be good enough" Tony said to her.

"I am sorry Tony" Ziva said to him.

"So am I" Tony responded back, when he saw that look in her eyes. "I'm done, I'm done trying. This is what you want, and then this is what it is. I hope you have a good life, Ziva." Tony said to her. He knew he didn't want to say those words. He wanted to shake some sense into her and make her come back, but that wasn't going to happen. He was just hoping she'd change her mind all on her own. Before he let her say anything he just walked out of her apartment and to the elevator. It just hurt far too much to be in that room anymore then he had to be in the moment. But she was right it was what it was and he couldn't change it no matter how much he wanted too.

* * *

><p>AN: might be a little oc, but for my storyline it works and I love it.<p> 


	14. Moving on

**Chapter Fourteen - "Moving on"**

McGee walked off the elevator and straight to Ziva's door. Everyone called it a night at work, so he figured he'd stop by and see Ziva. Though he was most likely sure that Ziva wouldn't want to see him, because Gibbs and Tony were there. He just needed to see her for himself. He walked up to the door and knocked.

"McGee" Ziva said after she opened to door to find him standing here.

"I'm sure I am the last person you want to see, but I needed to see you Ziva" McGee said to her.

"Come in" She said. She moved out of the way to let him in. McGee walked in and Ziva closed the door. The two continued to her living room. "I am glad you came."

"Are you?" McGee said. "I was sure you'd be sick of us by now."

"Why would you think that?" Ziva questioned.

"Gibbs and Tony have they not been here?" McGee asked.

"Yes" Ziva answered. "You are not them McGee."

"What if I was here to tell you, you are crazy and making a huge mistake" McGee said.

"Are you?" Ziva asked.

"No" McGee responded. "We both know you love NCIS, but sometimes we need to do what we need to do."

"Yes" Ziva said.

"So there is something any of us can say that will make you change your mind?" McGee asked.

"No" Ziva said shaking her head. "This is what I need to do"

"I don't like it, but if it's what you need to do then I'll support you" McGee said to her. "Just don't expect me to stop caring about you, okay."

"Never" Ziva said to him. "I am glad to have known you McGee and am thankful you are my friend."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were leaving us completely?" McGee said questioning her statement.

"I could never do that" Ziva said to him. "I just need some time alone for a bit."

"Okay, just be sure to call Ziva. Day or night" McGee told her.

"Thank you" Ziva said to him. "You will make an amazing leader one day McGee. Of that I am sure."

"I hope one day I'll get that chance" McGee said.

"You will" Ziva said.

"Take care of yourself, Ziva" McGee said. "And always remember we love you."

"I will" Ziva said. McGee gave her a smile before head out of her apartment and back to his car.

"That self-centered…" Tony started to ramble on as he walked over to his and desk, he then started going through his desk, looking for something and yet looking for nothing at the same time. "How could she just walk away and not expect us to care" Tony said and then slammed his draws of his desk shut. He then looked up and saw Melissa sitting in her desk, which was Ziva's desk.

"Agent's Gibbs and McGee took off; I was just finishing up some paper work. I swear I was not trying to listen to anything you had to say" Melissa said to him. She got up from her desk and picked up a folder. She walked over to Gibbs desk and placed the folder on his desk. She then turned back to go to her, but stopped and walked over to Tony's. "I know it's none of my business, but she's a fool for leaving" Melissa said before walked back over to her desk.

"You're right it's none of your business, but you're part of this team now whether we like it or not" Tony said to her. Melissa stopped what she was doing and turned to face Tony.

"I don't know the history between the two of you, or the history between her and this team and I don't want to talk about things I don't know, but what I do know is you all really cared for her. So this is a big loss for you all and I don't want you all to think I am replacing her" Melissa said to him. "I'm good at my job, Director Vance asked me to fill a vacant spot on this team and I agreed. I love my team and everything, but this team is kind of legendary so it's kind of dream to work with you all."

"Well it seems that was all for nothing" Tony said to her bitterly.

"I see it differently" Melissa said to him. "You pulled off a rescue mission and came back all in one piece. That is a type of thing that doesn't happen every day."

"And yet she walked away from this team" Tony said to her.

"No one stays an agent forever" Melissa said to him. "Sooner or later you realize there is only so much you can do and it stops being something you love. That is when you know it's time to go."

"Why are you still here?" Tony said to her.

"I told you, paper work" Melissa said to him.

"No I mean why are you still here, in this office" Tony said to her bitterly.

"Not replacing Ziva" Melissa said to him. "It was a favor to Director Vance. None of you might not like it, but it is what it is. I'm not going anywhere, until Director Vance tells me too. You can hate it all you want or me, but when it comes down to it I am serious about my job. I will not let you or anyone mess with that."

"Then you are in for a rude awakening" Tony said to her, as he got up from his chair.

"Is that a threat?" Melissa snapped at him.

"No it's a promise" Tony said to her. "Because Gibbs doesn't like anyone, you'll be lucky if you ever gain his trust."

"I'm not looking for hand holding or team bonding, I'm here to do a job and I'm damn good at mine" Melissa said to him. "I don't care what you think about me, but when it comes down to it I'll have your back. That's all that matters right now."

"You practice that speech, making sure you got it right so you could say it to us all?" Tony said to her. He grabbed his badge, gun and bag and walked over to Melissa's desk.

"She really made your heart cold" Melissa said to him. "Just do me a favor, when we are on the job keep it professional, because if you don't that's how people get killed." Melissa grabbed her bag, and walked out from behind her desk and towards the elevator. Tony followed behind.

"There might be hope for you yet, Daniels" Tony said to her as the got on the elevator. Melissa let a small smile slip out, before hitting the button to go down.

Ziva walked into the house she knew too well. She couldn't help but remember back to that day, when she came looking for Gibbs comfort and left without saying a word. She was just glad Gibbs hadn't even noticed she was even there that day. She shook the thought from her head, and continued on her way to the basement door. Once she reached it, he reached out for the door knob and stopped. She didn't even know why she was even here. They had words at her apartment; they had said what needed to be said. Yet here she was still here. She opened the door and started to head down the stairs. How she knew he would even be here and not at NCIS was a mystery, but she just had a feeling. Once she reached the bottom, she saw Gibbs standing by his tool bench as if he was waiting for her to show up.

"Are you ready to talk now?" Gibbs said to her.

"There is nothing to talk about" Ziva said as she moved a bit closer to him.

"Then why are you here?" Gibbs asked her.

"You have been nothing but kind to me and I want you know how grateful I am" Ziva said to him.

"Why does it sound like you are leaving" Gibbs said to her. He moved closer to her.

"I think it is best, for a bit, that I distance myself from NCIS" Ziva said to him. She hated telling him this, but this is what she needed to do. Wither she liked it or not.

"Where is this coming from?" Gibbs asked her.

"I need time" Ziva said to him. "Things are not as simple as they should be. I just need to figure it out, before I can come back."

"Something else is going on" Gibbs said to her.

"It is what it is. I cannot change it and neither can you" Ziva told him. She tried so hard to hold back the tears that were staring to form in her eyes. "Can you look after Tony? I have hurt him and I do not want to see him do something reckless."

"Tony can handle himself" Gibbs said to her. "This here Ziva, this isn't you." Ziva just moved closer to him, till they were only inches apart. She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I am sorry Gibbs" Ziva said to him before moving away from him and headed back up the stairs and out of the house before Gibbs could even say another word.


	15. Two Years Later

**Chapter Fifteen - "Two Years Later"**

"So I was thinking maybe drinks tonight?" Melissa said to Tony off the walked off the elevator and towards the bullpen.

"Missy we talked about this" Tony said to her, as they walked over to their desks. "What happened shouldn't have happened."

"So is that a no on the drinks?" Melissa said to him. "It'd be you, me, the love birds and him if he decides to show up."

"Okay fine" Tony said to her.

"I swear nothing will happen. Like you said it shouldn't have happened in the first place, but I think you're just sorry it happened with me of all people" Melissa said to him.

"I happen to like you Missy, you know that" Tony said to her.

"Yeah after I fought my way through that wall you built up" Melissa said to him. "I get it; I wasn't welcomed the first week I was here. I replaced a team member that you all loved and you hated that. You know what I left behind a team I cared about as well, as a favor for Director Vance."

"Don't start this Missy" Tony said to her.

"Don't start what? That you still can't approve of me being here. You claim you are okay with it and all that, but in truth you are still waiting for Ziva to walk through those doors and take her desk back." Melissa snapped at him.

"Missy you are quickly crossing a line you don't want to cross" Tony snapped back at her.

"I can hear it in your voice Tony. It's there wither you want to admit it or not." Missy said to him.

"This was her home, we were her family and she just walked away like we were nothing. She doesn't get to come back." Tony snapped at her again.

"Tony" Melissa started to say as he realized what she had done.

"Ziva is gone and she's never coming back" Tony said before getting up from his desk and walking away.

"What did I just miss?" McGee questioned as he walked into the bullpen and over to his desk.

"I screwed up." Melissa said. "Tony told me something and I used it against him. I wasn't thinking and I brought up Ziva." She explained to McGee. "I didn't mean too."

"I thought we were past this Missy?" McGee said to her. He placed his bag down before walking over to her desk. "It's been two years if we wanted you gone, you would have been off the team a long time ago."

"I know, but Tony still has this wall up because of Ziva. I just don't feel he can really accept me as his new partner, no matter how much time passes" Melissa said to him.

"Tony and Ziva have a long history, I don't think anyone could fill that void" McGee said to her. "I'll go see if I can find him, maybe talk to him."

"Thank you" Melissa said to him. "And I really like you all here. This is an amazing team."

"Yeah we are" McGee said to her, before heading out of the bullpen.

"Then there was one" Melissa said to herself.

"Excuse me" Melissa heard a voice with an accent said she turned and looked to see a women standing there.

"Can I help you?" Melissa said.

"Yes" She said. "I am looking for your Director"

"He's up there" Melissa said, pointing to the door at the top of the staircase.

"Thank you" She said with a smile, before heading towards the staircase.

She walked up the steps of the staircase towards the door the lead to the Leon Vance's office. Once she was at the secretary's desk, she stopped. The secretary told her she could go in and she walked through the doors, made sure to close them before walking over to Vance's desk.

"I didn't think I'd be seeing you again." Vance said to her. "I was informed I would not be seeing you again."

"We made a deal" She said to him. "I lived up to my end, now you have to live up to yours."

"And I will, I am a man of my word, but" Vance started to say.

"It has been too long, so you had to fill the vacancy" She said to him.

"Ziva" Vance said to her. "It's not like that."

"Then what is it like" Ziva asked him.

"In order for this all to work, I needed to make it believable on my end as well" Vance started to explain to her. "Otherwise it was doomed to fail, but Ziva just like last time, you need to have everything up to date and a psych eval. Then we will go from there, but right now I can't make any promises" Vance said to her. "I will do what I can, but it's up to someone else too."

"Gibbs will understands" Ziva said to him.

"It's not Gibbs I am talking about Ziva and I know you know that, but that would be a good place to start" Vance said to her. "When everything is done, I will let you know what comes next."

"So we on tonight?" Abby said, as he walked into the bullpen and over to Melissa's desk.

"We were" Melissa said to Abby.

"What happened?" Abby questioned.

"I opened my big fat mouth about Ziva and now Tony is pissed at me" Melissa said to her. "I should know that is still a sore subject for him. I mean I can't even get him to notice me and I'm emotional wreak. So it's got to be ten times worse for Tony since he's in love with her and she just walked away. "

"Wait, wait Tony actually said he was in love with her?" Abby questioned. She always knew the two cared about each other. The two just never wanted to admit it.

"So you do know?" Melissa said, slightly relieved. "I kind of thought you all knew. After all it's written all over his face."

"Well we all knew he cared for her, but Gibbs has this rule. So McGee and I figured the two just weren't saying anything because of Gibbs rules. Plus I think maybe they thought it might mess up their partnership." Abby said.

"I think he just didn't want to admit it to himself. He wanted it to be strictly business" Melissa said to him. "I don't know their entire past, but I do know about the rescue, heck who doesn't know in NCIS, but in my opinion you don't go risking your life in the desert after they walked away for no reason."

"Tony is a caring person. Sometimes he doesn't show it, but when it comes down to it he'd lay down his life for you" Abby said to her. "That's what makes him a good Agent."

"I don't doubt that" Melissa said to her. "He's got a really unique way of working things" Melissa said with a laugh. "I have to say I really thought I would hate it here, but this is one of the best teams I've worked with. I know this was only temporary, but I really don't want to leave."

"Good because we don't want you too" Abby said with a smile.

"That's really up to Director Vance" Melissa said to her, as a few tears fell from her eyes. She quickly wiped them away.

"Why do you think your leaving all of a sudden" Abby questioned her.

"Director Vance told me when he asked me to join this team; it was only for a little while. I guess maybe he thought Ziva was coming back" Melissa said to her. "My stay was never permanent; I knew that from the start."

"Well maybe it can be now" Abby said to her.

"Maybe, I certainly would be happy if I could stay here" Melissa said with a smile.

"So would we" Abby said to her. "I have to get back to my lab, but tonight drinks, right?"

"Yup, You make sure Tim comes and I'll make sure Tony comes. We'll have fun" Melissa said.

"Kind of like a double date maybe?" Abby joked.

"Don't even start that" Melissa said, with a small laugh.

"I said nothing" Abby said with a smile and a laugh before heading off to the elevator.

"Oh trust me Abby, he's never liked me like that" Melissa said to herself. She was about to get back to work when she noticed the women from earlier walking passed the bullpen. "Excuse me"

"Yes" Ziva said as she stopped and turned to face Melissa.

"I know it's none of my business, but you weren't talking to Vance, I mean the Director about a spot in Special Agents Gibbs team were you?" Melissa asked. She knew as soon as it came out of her mouth she shouldn't have even asked.

"You are right; it is none of your business" Ziva sad to her.

"I am sorry about that" Melissa said.

"Never apologize, it is a sign of weakness" Ziva said to her.

"So I have heard" Melissa said. "You were just on your way out and I stopped you. I was completely out of line and I'll let you go."

"Rule number eight" Ziva said to her, before walked towards the elevator and leaving.

"Rule number eight?" Melissa questioned, as she walked back over to her desk.

"Never take anything for granted" Melissa heard a voice say. She looked over and saw Tony walked into the bullpen with McGee not far behind. "It's a Gibbs rule, ones you should know by now."

"He has 52 of them and not written down anywhere. How am I supposed to remember them all?" Melissa said to him.

"By learning Daniels" Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen and over to his desk.

"We got a case Boss?" Tony questioned him.

"Yeah missing Agent just been found" Gibbs said. They all looked at him waiting for more. "About to go find out what happened. You all stay." Gibbs then walked out from behind his desk, with his jacket and headed towards the exit.


	16. Past Moments

**Chapter Sixteen - "Past Moments"**

Gibbs walked down the stairs to his basement. He knew when he got down there; she would be there, just like it happened two years ago. Only this time he wasn't going to let her walk through that door again. That was his first mistake, second was not looking for her. Once he reached the bottom, he walked over to his tool bench and grabbed the bottle of bourbon and cleaned out a glass. He poured himself some, and then just stopped.

"A part of me did not think I should have come" Ziva said as she stepped out of the shadows. Gibbs just stayed with his back turned to her. "I did not think you would want to see me."

"Two Years" Gibbs finally spoke, not moving from his spot.

"It was not an easy decision" Ziva said to him.

"Two Years Ziva" Gibbs said finally turning around to face her. "And not a single word."

"I could not contact you" Ziva said to him.

"Why?" Gibbs questioned her.

"It would ruin things" Ziva said to him. "I had come so far, I needed to end it."

"End what?" Gibbs said to her.

"That is not important. It is over and it is done. I am not proud of it, but it is what it is" Ziva said to him.

"What was it?" Gibbs asked her.

"It is not important. It is between Director Vance and I" Ziva said slipping up in saying Vance knew.

"Vance knew all along you weren't leaving" Gibbs said to him.

"Gibbs" Ziva said trying to say something.

"The both of you played me for a fool" Gibbs said. He cared about Ziva, but he couldn't take being lied to. He trusted Ziva and she knew that, He forgave her for lying to him about Ari, but he wasn't sure he could forgive her for this.

"Gibbs, I hated what I had to do" Ziva said to him, as tears started to form in her eyes. "But if you did not believe I walked away from NCIS, then they would not believe it either. You and Tony had to believe it or things would not go as planned."

"Why?" Gibbs asked her.

"Vance came to me two weeks before Lily's death. He told me my father had given him information that lead to a terrorists group planning a new attack. My father asked Vance, in his way of asking, that I was the only person that could help stop this group. Vance told me and I wanted no part of my father or his business." Ziva started to explain to him. "But when everything happened with Lily and Matthew I really thought about it and if anyone one was going to believe I left, it would be because of this. So I told Vance I would do it. He did not think it was a good idea, but I had my mind set" Ziva said continuing to explain. "All I had to do was wait for my father to contact me. After about two months, my father called telling me to return home now that the Americans have abandoned me. I returned to Tell Aviv and worked my way back into my father's followers. After months of working with my father and on this mission, I finally was able to gain the trust of the group." Ziva looked down at the ground.

"Ziva" Gibbs said to her, a bit worried.

"I did what needed to be done" Ziva said to him. She looked back up at him. "It is what my father wanted and it was what was going to happen. I gained their trust and waited it out till I got the information I needed. Once I had that I reported back to my father, who told Vance and ordered it to be stopped" Ziva continued to explain to him. "Once the dust had settled I told my father I was to return to D.C. and he was not to contact me again. When I returned, I still have some things to do, before I came back." Ziva told him. "I can see you have a new member of your team."

"I had no control over that" Gibbs said to her.

"Vance thought it would help with believing I was no longer part of the team" Ziva said to him. "If you still had that empty chair, you would be waiting for me to return. Whereas if you had someone to take my place it would mean you had moved on."

"No one could take your place Ziva" Gibbs said to her. "I thought you knew that by now."

"I guess others do not think the same" Ziva softly, but still loud enough that Gibbs heard it.

"He's just angry. You need to talk to him" Gibbs said to her.

"I hurt him Gibbs, I hurt you all" Ziva said to him. "I don't think he even wants to see me again."

"Talk to him" Gibbs said to her. "If you want back on the team, you are going to need to talk to him."

"That is what I am afraid of" Ziva said to him.

"If I say I'll buy all the alcohol then will you forgive me?" Melissa said to Tony. It had only been an hour or so since Gibbs had left, all still waiting on word from Gibbs about this missing Agent being found. None of them heard anything about an agent gone missing, or they would have been working the case already. Now it was just up to them to occupy their time while Gibbs was away.

"How about this, never mention her name again or the fact I don't want you here, and I'll forgive you" Tony said to her.

"Done and done" Melissa said to him. "For the record I was out of line and I was wrong. So I'm sorry"

"Never apologize, it's a sign of weakness" Tony said to her.

"Is that just a Gibbs thing?" Melissa asked.

"Is what, the don't apologize?" Tony questioned her.

"Yeah, is it just Gibbs thing or it is something others would know too" Melissa said.

"That depends" Tony said to her.

"How so?" Melisa asked.

"If you know the movie She Wore a Yellow Dress, then no it's not a Gibbs thing. He borrowed it from the Duke. Otherwise it's a Gibbs thing and having worked with him you'd know all his rules." Tony explained to her.

"Maybe I'm just going crazy" Melissa said.

"What's up Missy?" McGee finally spoke up. He was there, but just letting Melissa and Tony work it out.

"After our fight Tony and I, Abby came by and I started talking to her. I started going on about how I knew my stay on this team was only going to last for so long. Then someone came to talk to Director Vance. I guess I'm just worried I really am leaving" Melissa explained to him.

"Just because someone went to talk to the Director doesn't mean it's for a spot on team Gibbs. We got a good thing going here, I don't think Vance or Gibbs wants to mess that up" McGee said to her.

"Not even for…" Melissa said stopping before she said her name.

"No. She left us. I know Gibbs he doesn't forgive so easily" Tony said to her.

"I guess I'm just freaking out for nothing." Melissa said.

"You have nothing to worry about, we are a team and we stick together" McGee said to her.

"Thanks Tim" Melissa said with a smile.

"My question is what did any of this have to do with Gibbs rules?" Tony asked her, getting back to why she really started questioning them.

"I apologized for asking her questions I clearly had no right to ask. She then said never apologize it's a sign of weakness. So when you said it too, it got me thinking if anyone outside of team Gibbs knew that saying" Melissa said to him.

* * *

><p>AN: The path I had for this story took a turn. Not sure if Ziva would really do this on the show, but this is why it's a fan fiction. I assure you, there is a good reason. Hope you like it...<p> 


	17. Unsaid Moments

**Chapter Seventeen - "Unsaid Moments"**

Tony walked off the elevator and headed towards his apartment. It had been on strange day, but glad it was finally over. Now he just knew he had to go out. He had told them he would go out with them all tonight and even though he didn't want to he said he would. Once he rounded the corner to his apartment door; he stopped dead in his track. The one person he never thought he'd see again was standing right in front of his door. Then again he had slightly questioned it, wither it could have been her that had gone to see Vance, but he put the thought out of his mind. Gibbs has had many people work with him and could have been anymore. Or that is what Tony chose to believe. He stood there for a moment just looking at her; she was leaning up against the wall next to his door. Part of him wanted to run over to her and hug her, the other part of him wanted to pretend he never saw her and walk away, not wanting to have that conversation. Then there was another part that wanted to go up to her and just let her have it. Two Years of anger he had built up because she walked away from them, from him. He took a deep breath and walked over to his door, pretending she wasn't standing there.

"I know you are mad at me, but can we please talk?" Ziva said to him.

"I have nothing to say to you" Tony said as he unlocked his door and took a step inside.

"I am sorry Tony" Ziva said to him. Tony stopped and turned to face her. "I had no other choice."

"You had a choice, you just chose to run scared" Tony snapped at her.

"Please can we not do this here?" Ziva said.

"Why should I even bother listening? I know everything you are going to tell me is a lie" Tony said to her.

"Just give me a chance to explain. If you still feel the same then I will go and I will not bother you again" Ziva said him. Tony stepped out of the way to let Ziva. "Thank you" Ziva said. She walked inside and into his living room area and once Tony as closed the door he joined her.

"Explain" Tony said to her.

"I needed you and Gibbs to believe I had left NCIS and everyone behind, because if I did not then it would have ruined things" Ziva said to him. "I wish I could tell you more, but there is only so much I can tell you. Director Vance told me about this mission my father needed me for and I said no at first. Then everything happened and I figured it was the best chance I had to make it work. So I did, I told Vance I would do it and I left. It took some time, but things finally worked out with my father. Once that happened there was no turning back. I was able to get the information I needed, I reported back to my father. He got everything else done." Ziva explained to him. "Once it was over I told my father not to contact me again and my place was in D.C. I am not so sure I am right this time."

"You went back to help your father after he sent you on a mission that was a death sentence" Tony said. He was trying to understand what she was telling him.

"The only way to gain their trust was to prove I had given up on the…. given up on NCIS" Ziva said to him. "So that meant rejoining Mossad. It is not want I wanted to do, but what I had to do. If I had not done it, I do not know what could have happened." Ziva said to him. "It also made me remember why NCIS matters so much to me. I let what he did control me and mess with my head. I know that is not who I am, that person was not me."

"I put everything on the line for you Ziva, more than once, and not one time have you actually come to me" Tony said to her, finally letting his feelings be known. "You said you trusted me, that I had your back, I always will, but why didn't you trust me with this?"

"I could not risk it." Ziva said to him, she moved closer to him. "I needed people to believe this was for real, and if they thought for a second you were not upset that I was gone, it could have messed everything up. I was not trying to hurt you or Gibbs; I just knew the two of you needed to think I was really leaving."

"You're still not explaining yourself Ziva, you're just making excuses" Tony snapped at her.

"This is the truth Tony" Ziva said to him. "I regret hurting you all, but I do not for a second regret going on that mission. It came at a cost, but I did what I needed to do." Ziva said to him. She wiped the tears away before moving away from Tony. "I have told you, you still are angry so I will go. I am sorry Tony." Ziva said to him, before heading towards the door.

"That's not good enough, it will never be good enough" Tony said to her. Ziva stopped in her tracks and turned to face him. "Two years, two years Ziva and not a word, not a damn word. You expect me to stand here and listen to this story of nothing. A mission you had with Mossad, your father and Vance and yet you can't tell me anything else. You expect me to just say okay that makes sense, all is forgiven." Tony started to say to her. He was finally let out all the anger he had. "It doesn't work that way, you can't just come back and expect us all to forgive you just because you said you had some secret mission and that is why you just left us with nothing but shattered hearts. A mission that you can't even tell us about, so how do you expect us to even believe you on that?"

"You are not wrong" Ziva said to him.

"I put everything on the line for you" Tony said to her. "Everything and you just walked away like it meant nothing. Two years was a long time, but I moved on. Now you are back and that is not okay."

"What did you want me to do?" Ziva said to him.

"I wanted you to say something, anything" Tony snapped at her.

"Had I said it, it would not have made a difference" Ziva said to him honestly. "It would have hurt more, because I still would have left. It would not have changed anything."

"I guess not" Tony said to her.

"Tony" Ziva started to say.

"Don't just don't" Tony said to her.

"Tony" Ziva said trying again, but Tony cut her off

"Why was this mission so important?" Tony asked to her. "You say you trust me right? Then tell me why this mission was so important?"

"I…I… I was stopping a group targeting the Navy Yard" Ziva said to him. "No one knows that, not my father and not Vance. I told them the practice location and my father had them taken out. I did not think there was a need to tell them something that was not going to happen."

"So you lied to them, just like you lied to me and the rest of us" Tony said to her, bitterly.

"I did what I thought was right. If I had not done it, then there is no telling what could have happened" Ziva said to him. "I was protecting the people I care about."

"That is a joke" Tony said to her. "Protecting the people you care about? Those are the same people you walked away from."

"I did not have a choice" Ziva snapped at him.

"You had a choice and you chose to leave" Tony snapped at her.

"What is it you want from me Tony?" Ziva said to him. "I am sorry I put you through so much, I am sorry I lied to you, I am sorry walked away, I am sorry I did not say what you wanted me to say."

"It's just not enough Ziva" Tony said to her.

"Well that's it then" Ziva said to him, trying so hard to hold back the tears. "You cannot forgive me, and I do not blame you. So then this is really goodbye. I am sorry Tony" Ziva then reached into her back pocket and pulled something out. She walked over and placed it on the table, before looking back at him. "I wrote you this before I left, I just did not think it was a good idea to send it at the time" Ziva said, before turning and starting for the door. She stopped once she reached the door and looked back at Tony. "You know someone once told me that people who have been gone from your life and come back; don't just come back by chance. It is because they matter to you and you matter to her" Ziva said before opening and the door and walking out of the apartment.

Tony walked her leave fighting the urge not to go running after her. All he could see what that night in her apartment, how he walked out and just let her go. If he had not been so angry at her he would had tried to call her or see her. No he was so angry, he waited two years for her to make the first move. Now here she was and there he was letting her leave once again. He walked over to the coffee table, picked up the letter and sat down on the couch. He thought about throwing it away, but once he opened the letter, he started reading and couldn't put it down.

* * *

><p>AN: Might be a out of character for Tony, but remember he's pissed at Ziva. There is a bit more to why he's mad at her.<p> 


	18. After the Storm

**Chapter Eighteen - "After the Storm"**

Melissa walked off the elevator and headed towards the bullpen. She thought everything would have worked out perfect; or rather she thought things were better between her and Tony. Only after three hours of waiting she figured he wasn't going to show up. At least she had had Abby and McGee there, so it wasn't a total loss for the night. She walked into the bullpen to find Tony sitting at his desk reading something. She walked behind her desk and put her bag down.

"Tony here early and doing paper work, do my eyes deceive me?" Melissa said as she put her badge and gun on his desk. When he didn't answer Melissa walked out from behind her desk and over to Tony's. "Tony."

"What?" Tony said as she shook his head. He looked up from the letter and at Melissa.

"You okay?" Melissa asked.

"Yeah" Tony said to her.

"So what are you reading then?" Melissa said as she tried to steal it from him, but Tony ripped it away before she could grab it.

"Nothing" Tony said to her.

"Must be something if you don't want anyone else to read it" Melissa said to him.

"It's a letter for my father, okay" Tony said as he folded it back up and placed it in his desk. Melissa paid close attention to what he was doing, because she knew she was going to have to figure this out for herself. She knew he wasn't telling the truth and was going to figure out what was going on. "He was supposed to come up next weekend, but when I got home yesterday I got a letter saying he wasn't going to make it."

"I'm sorry" Melissa said asking like she believed it. "So is that why you didn't show up last night?"

"No something else came up" Tony said. "Rain check?"

"Yeah sure, you aren't the only one that didn't show" Melissa said as she walked back over to her desk.

"When are you going to learn Missy?" Tony said to her.

"Okay yes I expected too much for him" Melissa said to him. "But he's my husband; he's supposed to be there. He just has issues with this place."

"Issues?" Tony questioned.

"When I got transferred he wasn't too happy we had to move. Something about moving here he didn't like. Even after time passed he got more distant and I thought it would pass, but it hasn't. He works more and we barely see each other." Melissa said to him.

"I'd say maybe in time, but seeing how it's been two years and you seem to say nothings changed" Tony said to her. "I'm not sure it will, to be honest."

"I don't think so either" Melissa said to him. "You know it's funny when I was with my old team he and I were talking about maybe having kids. He wanted them so bad, but because of my job I couldn't have kids at the time. We moved here and I got this job and I thought great we could finally settle and have that family we both always wanted. Then he said he didn't want kids anymore."

"Hey" Tony said, he got up from his chair, out from behind his desk and walked over to Melissa. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. "You deserve better than him."

"I just have loved him for so long, I don't know how to love anyone else" Melissa said to him, as a few tears rolled down her checks. Tony moved back slightly. He placed his hand under her chin and gently lifted it up so they were looking into each other's eyes. He took his hand and wiped away her tears.

"You are a wonderful person Missy, you deserve someone who loves you and will be there for you. Someone who will protect you and he's not it" Tony said to her. "You deserve someone who will be good to you and treat you like a queen."

"Sometimes I wonder if you are the perfect guy Tony DiNozzo" Melissa said to him.

"Not perfect, far from perfect" Tony said to her.

"If I didn't know your deep dark secrets, you'd be my perfect guy" Melissa said to him. She then leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you Tony. For everything" She whispered in his ear.

McGee walked off the elevator and turned towards the bullpen, when he noticed a familiar looking figure in front of him. Then person had their eyes locked on what could only look like the bullpen. McGee walked up to them to find that it was in fact Ziva and she was looking at a close moment between Tony and Melissa.

"Ziva?" McGee said just to make sure his eyes weren't playing ticks on him. After all she had been gone for two years. She turned and looked at McGee with a smile on her face. He could tell she was happy to see him, but hurt by what she was just looking at.

"McGee." Ziva said to him.

"When did you get back?" McGee asked.

"It is complicated" Ziva said to him. "I am here for my psych evaluation."

"So you are coming back to NCIS?" McGee questioned. "But I thought?"

"Abby told you?" Ziva asked back.

"She didn't want there to be… she slipped up" McGee said. She started to say Abby didn't want there to be any lies between them, but then he remember she was lying to Gibbs and Tony as was he. "We were at my place and she said something and it came out. She begged me not to say anything, but she didn't really say much herself."

"It does not matter much anymore" Ziva said to him. "I ruined everything McGee."

"Not everything" McGee said to her. He reached out and took her hand in his. "You still got Abby and Me."

"I shouldn't, I left you two too" Ziva said to him. "I would understand if you needed to make Tony believe you were angry at me too. He will question it."

"I know, things will work themselves out" McGee said to her. "You just have to believe."

"Not this time" Ziva said to him. "We put our hearts on the line for each other and there is nothing left to give. Tony has moved on, I should too." Ziva said to him before walking away. McGee watched her leave not really sure what just happened. He then turned back and headed to the bullpen. Once he got there, Tony was walking back to his desk; Melissa was clean up around hers as if things were just like any other day. He walked over to his desk, put his stuff down and then turned to face Tony.

"Something the matter McGee?" Tony said.

"Just wondering why you didn't show up last night" McGee said to him.

"My Dad called and then something came up" Tony said. McGee had a feeling that something that came up was Ziva. "I'll make it up to you all, okay?"

"Sure" McGee said to him.

"Are you sure that's it McGee?" Melissa chimed in.

"Yeah, I'm sure" McGee said as he sat down. He really wanted to yell at the two of them. He watched as they went back to work as if nothing just happened, but he couldn't stand by and watch this. He stood up again. "You know what there is something else."

"What?" Melissa said as she and Tony stopped what they were doing and looked at him.

"I thought we were friends, family even and every one of you don't have the decency of telling me…" McGee started to say, and wanted to end with what was going on, but ended up with. "Malachi"

Ziva stood outside the door that lead to Dr. Bronco's office. She knew she could either go in and talk about everything and maybe find her way back on the team. A team she wasn't even sure wanted her anymore. Or she could just walk away and move on. She walked away once before. She turned away from the door and there stood Gibbs right behind her.

"I was just coming to look for you" Ziva said, even though she knew it was a lie.

"Ziva" Gibbs said. She knew he didn't buy it for a second.

"I was going to find you" Ziva said.

"You are avoiding" Gibbs said to her.

"What do you expect?" Ziva questioned him. "I am not wanted here anymore. Why should I do this if it will be for nothing?"

"It's not for nothing" Gibbs said to her.

"Really?" Ziva questioned. "Then tell me that you forgive me" Ziva said to him. She only asked because she knew he couldn't do that. As she expected he hesitated and then couldn't even find the words to say. "That is what I thought."

"It's not that simple Ziva" Gibbs said to her.

"I get that. What I did was not that simple either" Ziva said to him. "I did what I did and I have to live with the fall out."

"But you don't have to do it alone" Gibbs told her.

"I am alone" Ziva said to him. "You, Tony , this team is the closest thing I have to a family and I screwed that all up. I walked away, because it was easier than facing what really happened."

"Now you can face it" Gibbs said to her. "He won't hate you forever, give him time."

"And you?" Ziva said.

"I trust you Ziva, you know that. Right now I'm still trying to understand it all" Gibbs said to her. "I don't hate you, I could never hate you. I just want to be able to see it from your point of view to fully understand it."

"I have told you everything" Ziva said to him.

"Have you?" Gibbs questioned. "You should go and talk to her, but know my door is always opened" Gibbs said, before giving her a small smile and walking away. Ziva took a deep breath and walked over to the door. She put her hand on the doorknob and turned it, she walked in and there was the person sitting her chair that Ziva was trying to avoid.

"Hello Ziva, I've been expecting you" Dr. Bronco said. Ziva closed the door then walked over to the empty chair and sat down.

"What do you want?" Tony said. At first Tony and Melissa had no idea why McGee had said Malachi, but once they turned around it made perfect sense.

"I need to speak with Gibbs" Malachi said to them.

"He's…" Tony started to say before Gibbs interrupted him.

"He's here" Gibbs said. He stopped at his desk and looked at Malachi. "Why are you here?"

"I need to speak to you about Ziva" Malachi said to him. "Somewhere else perhaps."

"Anything you have to say about Ziva can be said in front of my team" Gibbs said to him. Malachi walked into the bullpen and over to Gibbs.

"Ziva is not well" Malachi started to say. "We are concerned for her."

"We?" Tony questioned.

"Her father, me, her family" Malachi said in response to his question.

"Is that the same father and family that left her to die in the dessert?" Tony snapped.

"That is in the past, Ziva and her father have moved passed it" Malachi snapped back. "She should not have been on this mission. She could have gotten all of us, herself killed."

"Why didn't her father pull her off the mission?" McGee asked.

"Director David did not see what I saw, until the mission was over" Malachi said. "It was like she was reckless, wanting something to happen. The last time she was like this was when Tali was killed."

"Her sister" Tony said to himself softly.

"The Ziva I saw was not the Ziva I know, was not the Ziva she is now" Malachi said to them. "She was someone else completely. I tried to talk to her, but she would not listen. She was focused on what her father wanted from her."

"So why are you here?" Gibbs asked again.

"She thinks highly of you and cares for you deeply. We were hoping you could talk to her" Malachi said to Gibbs. "I have known her a long time, she needs help. She is not okay." He said. "She is not like most people. She internalizes, she was taught emotions are weaknesses, but I know that is not who she was becoming. She was becoming something better, she was happier now. I believe something might have forced her back to who she used to be. She is not that person anymore, she is better than that. She is better here with all of you."

"We thank you for your concern" Gibbs said to him. "Be sure to let Director David she is in good hands"

"Thank you" Malachi said before heading out the bullpen and back to the elevator. Once Malachi was gone Tony walked out from behind his desk and over to Gibbs.

"What was that about, Ziva is perfectly fine" Tony said to him.

"Maybe right now she seems it, but if you've been through what she went through would you be fine?" Gibbs questioned him. "You saw her Tony, all this is, is a front"

"You know her Tony, she's good at keeping things to herself. No matter how much she trusts us, there are still some things she'll never tell anyone" McGee said to him. "It's just who she is."

* * *

><p>AN: So I have a plan, well kind of. I am trying to have a method to my madness. Trying to put in a bit of why I had Ziva do what so did, so that way they could find a way back. Otherwise this wasn't going to be a happy ending story and I need to happy ending for it, even if I had to force it. Now that I have kind of thrown this into the mix, my question is where do you see the story more going Zibbs or Tiva? Just kind of what to hear which way you think it will go, because it will end with Ziva happy with someone. (was supposed to be Tony, but we'll see.)<p> 


	19. Hang On

**Chapter Nineteen- "Hang On"**

"So you are telling me" Vance started to say. It had been only about two hours since she had finished her session with Dr. Bronco; she had made up her mind. So she went to see Vance to inform him of her decision.

"That I will not be coming back" Ziva said to him. "I want to thank you for everything you have done for me. I just don't think there is anything left for me now."

"Are you sure about this?" Vance questioned her.

"I am sure" Ziva said to him. "I have been thinking about this for a while and I think it is best if things are left the way it is.

"If you are sure then and there is nothing I can say or do that can change your mind" Vance started t say to her. "Then I am sorry to see you go, but know if you ever change your mind you always have a place here."

"I wish that was true but too much as changed" Ziva said to him.

"Ziva you can't expect things to fix themselves over night" Vance said to her. "We were both in this and had a part. Things will work themselves out in the end."

"You sound like Gibbs" Ziva said to him. "Only he does not forgive me either and I do not blame him."

"I won't try to convince you of something you clearly have your mind set on" Vance said to her. "I will take your resignation and hope maybe you'll change your mind."

"I won't" Ziva said to him. "It seems though that your new agent has fit right into the team."

"Ziva you know it was only to make it look like you no longer work here" Vance said to her.

"Wither that is true or not, she seems to work very well with them team" Ziva said to him. "She seems nice and everyone seems to really like her."

"You know that that is the truth" Vance said to her. "Like I said if this is what you want, then this is what it is."

"Thank you" Ziva said to him, before heading out of his office. She knew things would not go over well with Tony and Gibbs, but things were not well start with. She walked down the stairs and headed to the elevator. As she made her to the bullpen she notice that Melissa was the only one around. Ziva thought about it for a minutes and then walked into the bullpen and over to her old desk. "You will not find better people, you should be lucky to have met them."

"I am" Melissa said. She looked up at Ziva. "But they care about you too. No matter what they said they do care about you."

"Even if that is so, to much has happened to move past it now" Ziva said to her. "I can see they are happy with you and I hope you are happy with them."

"I am, this team is one of the best and it has been a pleasure to be a part of it." Melissa said to her.

"Do not count yourself out yet" Ziva said to her. "You never know what life might throw your way" Ziva said before walking away. She got on the elevator and headed out of the building, knowing this was the last time she'd be here.

"She has been through a lot Anthony" Ducky said to him. After their visit from Malachi they had headed down to talk to Ducky. It had been Tony, McGee, Gibbs and they had grabbed Abby on the way. They figured since this effect the team; they would talk as a team.

"This doesn't change what she had done" Tony said in response. "She walked away from the team as if we didn't matter anymore. She comes back two years later expecting things to be the same as they used to be."

"But you have to remember all she has been through Tony" McGee said.

"So that excuses that she just walked away from us, from the team?" Tony questioned not really looking for an answer.

"She did what she did because she needed a solid cover. If we were in her shoes we would have done the same" Gibbs said.

"No the difference is that I would have trusted my team to have my back and to understand why I was doing what I was doing. She just lied to us all and expected us not to have an issue with it." Tony said.

"So did you once upon a time" McGee said to him.

"Really you are going to bring that up?" Tony snapped at McGee. "I didn't woke away, and the difference once I lied about some things, not everything. Ziva lied about everything."

"She didn't" Abby started to say once Tony stopped talking. She raised her hand, as if to let them know she had something to say or she was counting herself in on something. "Lie to us all."

"Of course not, her and Vance were buddy buddy on this" Tony snapped.

"No not just Vance" Abby said.

"What do you mean Abby" Gibbs said.

"Before Ziva left she asked me for my help" Abby started to say. "She asked me to help her make it look like she spilt with NCIS on bad terms. She didn't go into much detail but she just needed things to look like We turned on backs on her so she was turning her back on NCIS."

"Why didn't you mention this to any of us?" Tony questioned.

"She asked me not to say this to anyone, not even Director Vance." Abby said to them. "I think she wanted him to believe one thing and who ever she was trying to convince believe another."

"It worked" Tony said bitterly.

"How can you know that for sure?" Abby questioned.

"Because she told me" Tony said. "She said she was going after a terrorist group that her father wanted her to take down. That she made it seem like she left NCIS and we moved on so she could rejoin Mossad and gain access to the group. From there she waited till they trusted her enough to give her the information she needed. Once she had it she let her father know and he took them out."

"Once they were taken care of she returned home" Gibbs said finishing the story Tony was telling.

"She told you too?" Tony questioned but didn't wait for an answer to speak again. "Did she tell you they were targeting the Navy Yard?"

"She did not" Gibbs said to him.

"Clearly she was doing this to protect us" Abby said.

"Otherwise she wouldn't have done it" McGee said.

"Why are you so quick to defend her Tim? She walked away from you too" Tony said.

"Because she's still my co-worker and my friend" McGee said. "She has been there for me when I have needed her and I will stand by for her when she needs it. I am not going to walk away"

"Like she did?" Tony snapped.

"Enough" Ducky said. "Clearly something else is going on here. Anthony are you mad at her more because she walked away without a word? Or because she didn't stay when you told her how you felt?"

"That doesn't matter Ducky, It never mattered" Tony said to him. Which clearly meant that he was mad at her more because she walked away when he put his heart on the line and didn't say anything in return.

"It seems it does" Ducky said. "You need to remember she is not like us Anthony" Ducky went on to say. "She grew up in a different world then we did. She does things because that was how she was brought up, just like you do thing because that is how you were brought up."

"Ducky is right" Gibbs said.

"She is only reacting to what has happen to her in her life the only way she knows how" Ducky said to him. "She is shutting herself down from herself and from us. She knows she can trust us, but she doesn't feel she can trust herself. That is mostly what is driving her to do all these things."

"So your saying it's not a matter of does she trust us, but a matter of she doesn't trust herself so she's pushing us away to protect us?" McGee questioned Ducky.

"Yes. She sees this as a way to protect you, keep you from getting hurt. Yes she has hurt you, but in her mind she feels that if she stays she'll hurt you more then this. She sees this as a way to keep you safe for the demons that she faces." Ducky was explaining to them. "Poor Ziva must be facing a lot of demons, between her time in the desert and the whole thing with her friend Lilly and Matthew. You have to remember Anthony even to someone like you and me or Abby these are things you do not just get over easily."

"Even if that is true Ducky, it does not make it right that she just walked away…" Tony started to say.

"I never said it made it right, I just explained why she had done it." Ducky said to him. "It's justifiable."

"Like hell it is" Tony snapped. "You all want to forgive her for what she's done, then go ahead, but I can't. I won't" Tony said before storming out of autopsy.

"Should someone go after him?" Abby question.

"No let him be, he is clearly mad at her for something more then just walking away from the team" Ducky said to her. Abby bowed her head unsure of what to do. Before anyone could get another word in Gibbs grabbed his phone from his waist and brought it up to his ear.

"I'll be right there" Gibbs said before hanging up the phone. He then headed out of autopsy and everyone just kind of looked at each other.

"Could you close the door" Vance said to Melissa. She walked over and closed the door, before walking back over to Vance's desk. "I called you in here because I need to discuss with you your position on Gibbs team."

"I'm being moved back to my team aren't I?" Melissa said. Two years ago she would have been okay with it, but now she didn't want to go anywhere.

"Actually no, your temporary status is no longer temporary. I would like to congratulate you on becoming an officially member of Team Gibbs" Vance said to her. "Gibbs will be here shortly to share in the news."

"But I thought I was only here to fill the spot Ziva had left behind and now that she was back, I didn't think I would be sticking around?" Melissa questioned.

"I can't not discuss that, but things have changed and there is an opening on Gibbs team" Vance started to say. "Since you have been filling the empty chair, it's only fair to offer it to you."

"I don't know what to say" Melissa said.

"You can say no" a voice said. Both turned their ends to see Gibbs standing in the doorway.

"Agent Gibbs thank you for joining us" Vance said. Gibbs walked to Melissa and in front of Vance's desk. "I was just congratulating Agent Daniels here on being the newest part of team Gibbs."

"So you are writing Ziva off?" Gibbs said.

"This is not the time or place for this" Vance said to him.

"Welcome to the team" Gibbs said to Melissa.

"I'm going to excuse myself now" Melissa said before she walked over to the door and out of Vance's office.

"I am not writing Ziva off Agent Gibbs" Vance said once Melissa had left. "She has chosen not to return. This is her discussion."

"Just like the last time, it was her discussion?" Gibbs snapped at him.

"That was different" Vance said. He stood up from his chair.

"Are you sending her on another undercover mission?" Gibbs said.

"This was her discussion Gibbs. She believes that you and the team don't want her to return" Vance said to him. "That it is better to just walk away. I am respecting her discussion and that means Melissa is now part of your team."

"She will not replace Ziva" Gibbs said to him.

"I know that it not possible" Vance said to him. "This is what she wants."

"Looks like you are stuck with me" Melissa said as she walked into the bullpen.

"What?" McGee said.

"The Director just told me I now officially apart of this team" Melissa said as she walked over to her desk.

"Weren't you always a part of this team?" McGee said questioning what she said.

"Well yes" Melissa said. "But I always thought at some point I would be sent back to my old team. Now that isn't going to happen."

"It's been two years, I don't think she's coming back" McGee said to her.

"I guess it's true now" Melissa said. "You thought she'd come back didn't you?"

"I'm not going to lie to you Melissa I did. I understood why she did what she did" McGee started to say to her. "It was unexpected and I was mad at her at first, but once I knew she wasn't completely gone it started to make sense. She's not just my co-worker, she's my friend and after everything she's been through she's entitled to some times when she just need to do what she needs to do or just disappear for a while."

"I hope someday you'll be my friend the way you are with Ziva" Melissa said.

"I've just known her for a long time" McGee told her. "And we've been through a lot together. Saved each others lives a couple times."

"Well she's lucky to have you" Melissa said to him.

"Who's lucky?" Tony said as he walked into the bullpen.

"No one" Melissa said.

"Clearly you were talking about someone specific" Tony said to her.

"Okay we were talking about Tim's date tonight, with Abby" Melissa said. "She's a lucky girl to get to go out with hm." Melissa lipped 'I'm sorry'.

"Another date, alone?" Tony question.

"Yeah" McGee said. "I just didn't tell you because I know how you can be."

"I happened to over hear a conversation between them" Melissa said trying to come up with a good cover story. "He didn't think anyone was around, clearly he was to into his conversation."

"Agent Daniels" The team heard a voice say. They turned to see Gibbs walking into the bullpen and over to Melissa. "I want you to know.."

"You don't really want me here?" Melissa said interrupting Gibbs.

"No" Gibbs said to her. "You are a good agent, no one can take that from you. I have been lucky to have you on my team for these past two years, but…"

"Ziva. Your loyalties lay with her" Melissa said once again interrupting Gibbs.

"She has been a big part of this team, someone I have come to trust. I can't and will not write her off" Gibbs said to her. "It is not that I don't want you on the team, it's just not easy watching another walk away."

"Understandable, I mean after what this team did for her" Melissa said. "I can tell him I won't take the job. I'll go back to my old team."

"No you earned this" Gibbs said to her. Gibbs then turned to face all his agents. "Melissa is now a permanent member of our team. I expect nothing less then what I've gotten the last two years."

"I don't understand?" Tony said.

"Ziva resigned, she's no longer an NCIS agent" Gibbs said to him.

* * *

><p>An: I had another plan, but the story kind of fell this way and it works out. So the story is almost finished, and we are working towards a happy ending. So read, review let me know.<p> 


	20. Won't Give Up

**Chapter Twenty - "Won't Give Up"**

Tony sat the entire day trying to think of what Gibbs had said to them 'Ziva resigned, she's no longer an NCIS agent'. The part of him that was mad at her was happy that he didn't have to deal with her anymore, but the other part of him was so angry with her for giving up. He almost didn't really know how to deal with this all. Somehow he found himself outside Ziva's apartment. How he got there he wasn't really sure, all he knew was she never gave up her apartment when she left. He some how found himself driving towards her apartment when he was done with work and then up the stairs and at her door. When he finally realized where he was he took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He could hear footsteps coming to the door and then the door opened.

"Tony?" Ziva questioned.

"We need to talk?" Tony said as he walked past her and into her apartment without even getting a come in.

"I thought we had said everything that needed to be said " Ziva said as she closed the door and turned to face Tony.

"I thought I knew everything about you" Tony said to her. "I thought I had this all figured out."

"I am not sure what you are talking about" Ziva said to him as she walked away from the door and into her living room. Tony followed behind her.

"This isn't the Ziva I know. She wouldn't give up that easily." Tony said to her.

"That Ziva doesn't exist anymore" Ziva said to him.

"The Ziva I know would put up a fight. She wouldn't let anyone tell her no you can't that. She wouldn't let me get away with the things I have said and done." Tony said to her. "She would stick to what she wanted to and not let anyone take it from her. She would come back swinging. I expected more from you. I want more from you. I want the Ziva who wouldn't give a damn if I hated her."

"She..." Ziva said to say, but Tony interrupted her.

"I want the Ziva who would kick my ass for no good reason. The Ziva who could kill me 14 different ways with a paperclip, the Ziva who says plastic silverware is not as safe as one thinks. The Ziva who is the weapon and doesn't need one" Tony said to her. "She is the one I want. She is the one I love. "

"She disappeared the minute Matt walked into her life" Ziva snapped at him not meaning too. "He took that all from me."

"The don't let him win. He's gone and he's never coming back" Tony said to her. "Fight back, become the person I know you to be."

"I can't be" Ziva said to him. "That person is gone."

"Then what is this?" Tony questioned as he pulled the letter out of his pocket and showed it to Ziva. "Why write this and give it to me? Just so you can say things you don't mean?"

"I told you I wrote it before I left" Ziva said to him. "I should never have written it."

"You're telling me this is nothing, it meant nothing?" Tony questioned her.

"I didn't say that, I just said I shouldn't have wrote it" Ziva said to him. "I wrote it before I left the first time, so much had happened and all I wanted to do…. At the time I felt it needed to be said"

"Maybe it shouldn't have" Tony said to her.

"You confuse me Tony" Ziva said to him. "First you want me to say something and now you don't want me to say anything. What is it you expect from me?"

"I don't know" Tony answered her. "I expect so much and yet nothing at the same time. You do these things that drive me crazy and I don't know how to deal with it all."

"Then why are you here?" Ziva said to him.

"Because I'm not going to let you give up everything because of some idiot" Tony said to her.

"I am not giving everything up because of you" Ziva said to him.

"I'm not talking about me, I'm taking about Matt. You are letting him mess with your mind and take away everything you have worked so hard for." Tony told her. "I'm not going to sit by and let that happen. You fight and fight like hell."

"Fight for what" Ziva questioned.

"For your job, your place back in my life" Tony said to her. "Your rightful place at NCIS. You need to fight for that place."

"Do I still have a place?" Ziva questioned him.

"You do" Tony said to her. "Just fight for it" Tony said before walked away and heading out of her apartment.

"She's really gone isn't she" Abby said to Tim. She couldn't believe it was Gibbs came down and told her. She was hoping it was something else, something that wasn't thing.

"She is, but only from the NCIS" McGee said to her. He had come down with Gibbs to tell Abby and stay after Gibbs left. "She's still in D.C and she's not going anywhere."

"But it's not going to be a same. She is supposed to be here with us" Abby said to him. "I love Missy, but it's not the same."

"I know, but it is what it is now" McGee said to her. "We just need to be there for her now."

"Does she even want us to see her?" Abby questioned.

"I'm sure she does. Abby she knows we don't hate her. I am sure she wants to see us." McGee said to her. "Why don't we call her and see if she wants to go out to lunch later this week?"

"Okay" Abby said. "That sounds good."

"Things will be okay" McGee said.

"Isn't that mine line?" Abby questioned.

"I thought maybe you'd want to hear it for once instead of saying it" McGee said to her.

"I hope it true McGee" Abby said to him. McGee then moved closer to her and pulled her into a hug.

"Things will be okay" McGee said to her again, before pulling away. "Maybe it's better this way?"

"How can you say that McGee?" Abby said as he hit him in the arm.

"I remember the last time Tony and Ziva were fighting, she ended up leaving the team and we all ended up thinking she was dead" McGee said to her. "What's to say if she came back Tony would forgive her and thing would go back to the way they were?"

"Maybe Tony would forgive her once she was back" Abby said.

"I don't see that happening at least no any time soon" McGee said. "I mean for two years we were even allowed to say her name around him without setting him off."

"Oh yeah" Abby said. "Well I can hope right?"

"Yeah" McGee said.

"This almost seems to familiar Jethro" Ducky said as he walked down the stairs and into Gibbs's basement. Gibbs was sitting next to her workbench with a glass of scotch in his hand.

"Ducky" Gibbs said.

"Timothy told me about Ziva" Ducky said. "How are you holding up?"

"You know better then that Ducky" Gibbs said to him. "No matter what Ziva is still part of this team."

"I wouldn't see it any other way" Ducky said to him. "But I can't help but wonder why you aren't as mad at her like Tony is?"

"It's a different story there Ducky" Gibbs said to him. "Tony has his reasons and I have mine. I don't trust Ziva any less. I just want to see why she did thing all from her point of view."

"You have to remember Jethro the type of person he can be" Ducky said to her.

"I remember. I know who she can be too" Gibbs said to him. "Ziva, there is no one like her. And once she's made up her mind there is no changing it."

"Sounds like someone else I know" Ducky said.

"This is different" Gibbs said. "It's always been different with her."

"And why might that be?" Ducky asked.

"As I said before she earned my trust. She's a part of this team" Gibbs said to him "There's nothing else to tell"

It had only been about and hour after Tony had left and once again they were in this do they hate each other, love each other, want to tare each other heads off place. She wasn't really sure how they had left things, but she knew things couldn't get any worse then they already were, then again they most likely couldn't get any better either. Ziva then noticed the letter on the floor, the one she had written and given to Tony. She walked over and picked it up, that when she heard the knock on the door. She put the letter on the coffee table and walked over to the door. She expected to see Tony standing on the other side ready for round... well she didn't even know what round they were on, some much has happened. When she opened it she got a bitter surprise.

"Hello Ziva" Ziva stood there not sure how to react.


	21. So Cold

**Chapter Twenty One- "So Cold"**

"You know I am surprised, I figured someone would actually come looking for you" a voice said. Ziva sat in a chair in the middle of the room, with her arms behind the chair and tied together. It had been almost 48 hours since he had showed up at her door. All she knew was she had left the team and everyone behind again, no one was ever going to know she was here. By the time they did, she knew she was bound to be dead.

"They just know how stupid you can be" Ziva said, she knew it was wrong to get him angry, but she needed to do something. She needed him to slip up.

"I always did love that fire about you Ziva" He said to her. He finally walked out from behind her and moved to be in front of her. "I'm going to miss it."

"Oh you plan on going somewhere?" Ziva said. She knew what he really meant, but refused to show him any fear. She had to listen to what Tony was telling her. He had taken so much from her already, she couldn't… she wouldn't let him any many more.

"You really think you are clever" He said to her. "It is not I who is going somewhere, but you. When I'm finished with you I'll be sure to leave on the doorstep of the NCIS building."

"You'll be dead before you even begin" Ziva snapped at him. She knew he knew she was Mossad. She also knew what he was able to do it her, so that meant he knew she wasn't going to be the one to try and stop him. She was going to try her hardest to do what she could though.

"Is that so?" He said to her.

"You already made one mistake" Ziva said to him.

"What taken you? That wasn't a mistake" He said.

"No coming back to the scene of the crime. It's the first place they will look" Ziva said to him. She knew they weren't even looking for her. She wondered if they'd ever find out he was out of jail or if she'd really be dead before they knew.

"We'll be long gone before they even come looking here" He said to her.

"Tony good you're here" Melissa said as he walked into the bullpen and to her desk. She put her stuff down, before walking out from behind her desk and over to Tony's. "I really need to talk to you."

"About what?" Tony questioned. He was confused to what was going on.

"So I kind of made this promise and I need your help" Melissa said to him. "Do you know any good places to go on a romantic getaway for a weekend?"

"Tony's the wrong person to ask that one" McGee said as he walked into the bullpen.

"Really Tim?" Tony said. "There is this one place I know" Tony said, he then gabbed the piece of paper and pen and wrote something down before handing it to Melissa. "It's where Wendy and I were going to go on our honeymoon."

"Thanks Tony" Melissa said to him. "I promised my husband that we could go away next month, I cleared it with Vance and Gibbs. We are finally working things out and I need things to be as romantic and perfect as they can be."

"That's great Melissa, I'm really happy for you" Tony said to her.

"Thanks" Melissa said to him. "Turns out that when I was still on temporary status with the team, he felt at any moment we could be forced to pack up and leave and he didn't want to get to attached to something that was never going to happen" Melissa explained to him. "Now that I am sticking around and really apart of the team, we can actually talk about those things we needed to work on."

"That is good" McGee said. "If anyone deserves happiness it's you two."

"Thank you McGee" Melissa said. "I'm sure you and Abby will have this kind of love and understand soon enough. And I expect an invite."

"We've only just start dating again a year and a half ago. Gibbs barely okayed it, lets not get ahead of ourselves" McGee said.

"You might want to tell that to Abby" Melissa said as he walked back over to her desk.

"Trust me I have" McGee said with a laugh.

"Oh so you have talked about it?" Melissa said.

"Yes, we have discussed that it is not the time or place for this right now" McGee said to her. "With everything that has gone on with… it's just better to wait a bit longer."

"You can say her name McGee" Tony said to him. "You can say with everything that has gone on with Ziva, this team and me."

"We just don't want the people we care about torn apart when we make a decision like this" McGee said.

"Well the team is torn apart" Tony said. "I went to see her the other night, you know when we found out she officially left NCIS."

"You did?" Melissa questioned.

"I was so angry with her, not because of what happened in the past, but for what was happening now" Tony said to them. "She was giving up to easy because I was mad at her. So I told her that the Ziva I knew all these years wouldn't give up with a fight. The Ziva I knew would threated to kill me or harm me in some way, when I said something that annoyed her or offended her. That I wanted that Ziva back, guess that's not going to happen."

"Maybe it is, I mean you took a big step" Melissa said. "You went to see her and said things you wouldn't say if you really did hate her."

"Only it's been two days and she hasn't shown up once" Tony said to her. "She's really gone, and it kills me to know I'll never work with her again. There is just so much I am going to miss. So much I have missed. Just at the same time I can't figure out how to forgive her."

"In time" McGee said to him. "You give it time."

"There is only so much time I can give her McGee, before it's just to much" Tony said to her.

"Forgiveness is never something you can't give" Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen.

"In this case it might be" Tony said to him.

"She cares about you DiNozzo, no matter what happens" Gibbs said to him. "Her last words before she left where about you, if that doesn't say something I don't know what does."

"Do we have a case?" Tony said trying to change the subject.

"You have reports to do" Gibbs said to him, before leaving the bullpen.

"You can try all you want, but they aren't going to come loose" he said to her. He had taken off once again like he had done in the last 48 hours, to do what Ziva wasn't sure nor did she want to stick around and find out. Each time he left she would try and undo the ties that bind her. Just has he was coming back she would stop, most of the time she was able to tell when he was back, so that was she could make it look like she hadn't done anything. Only this time he sunk up behind her and caught her off guard.

"Well I can try can't I" Ziva said to him. "It's not a fair fight if I give in to easy and you wouldn't have fun no would you."

"Now you are just trying to play those mind games of ours" He said to her. "I thought you knew they aren't going to work on me."

"What do you want me to scream like a damsel in distress?" Ziva said bitterly. "Help, help, help, someone please help" Ziva said in a normal voice with little to no emotion. "Happy?"

"No, like I said I like the fire in you Ziva" he said as he walked over to her, he moved so he was right behind her and leaned in so his face was right next to her ear and placed her hand on her shoulder slowly moving it down. "I want to see that fight again."

"Go to hell Matt" Ziva said, trying to move away from his touch.

"There it is" Matt said. He then removed his hand and stood up straight. "We are going to have tons of fun before I kill you." He said with a laugh.

Gibbs walked off the elevator with a cup of coffee in his hand. As he walked into the bullpen there stood Vance. Gibbs looked at everyone, almost like he felt he missed something. He walked over to his desk and stopped. He turned to face everyone and Vance.

"Is there something we can help you with Director?" Gibbs questioned.

"Mathew Mackenzie escaped from jail three days ago" Vance said. Tony and McGee's face dropped, Gibbs stood there. "Before you ask no one has heard from Ziva in two days. I sent agents to her apartment, but no one is there. No sign of forced entry."

"Why are we just hearing about this?" Tony said. He stood up from his chair and was ready to go after Vance for keeping this from them all.

"Because things have only changed recently, but in any case " Vance said to him. "It is also not our case. Ziva is no longer NCIS, which means it goes to Metro."

"She's still one of ours, no matter what" Gibbs said to him.

"Like hell it's not our case" Tony snapped. "He not only went after Ziva, but killed females Marines and Petty Officers. How can you stand there and say this isn't our case anymore?"

"I don't like it anymore than you, but I was given an order that this is not our case and to stand down" Vance said to Tony. " That means you too Agent Gibbs" Vance said before walking away. Tony turned and looked at Gibbs.

"You aren't going to let him do this are you?" Tony questioned.

"Give me the word and I'll do whatever I need to" McGee said.

"No, we are going to stand down" Gibbs said to them, he wanted to make sure Vance was completely back in his office.

"You can't be serious" Tony said. "If he is out there is going to kill Ziva for sure."

"You don't think I know that Tony?" Gibbs snapped at him. "He's already got her, and fact we are just hearing about this now, mean we are running out of time."

"So we are going to do something?" McGee said.

"Yeah" Gibbs said to him. "I want to know where he has taken her and I want it yesterday."

"Boss, I think I might know where he is" Tony said.

"Where?" Gibbs questioned.

"Ziva's apartment" Tony said.

"Vance said the place was empty and didn't look like anyone broke in or left in a questionable manor" McGee said.

"You got all that from what Vance said?" Tony questioned. "Never mind. Not that apartment, her old one. The one where Lily lived across the hall."

"Why do you think that one?" Gibbs asked.

"It's abandon. They are tearing it down next month to redo it over completely, no one is there and it's just about where it all started" Tony explained to them. "He's gone back to relive what he's most proud of and to finish the job he started. My gut tells me they are there."

"Then you are taking the lead" Gibbs said to him. "Lets go" Gibbs said. He then grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door, with Tony, McGee and Melissa following behind him.


	22. One More Night

**Chapter Twenty Two- "One More Night"**

"You got anything?" Tony questioned McGee who was looking at his computer. He had asked him to try and get a satellite image of the apartment complex. He wanted to know where they were and if there was a way to move in without tipping Matt off.

"Almost got it" McGee said. He typed fast and wasn't about to stop. "Got it. There is a way in out back. It will lead you straight to the basement."

"You sure they are in the basement?" Tony questioned.

"Yeah, the heat signatures are very weak. If they were on her floor they'd be a lot stronger" McGee said.

"Alright. Gibbs Daniels I want to go right when we get in there. McGee and I will go left" Tony said to them. They already has their guns loaded and ready to go, their bulletproof vets on and had a anything they might needed incase things didn't go the way they were planned. "We get Ziva out alive. Whatever it takes."

"Got it" Melissa said. They all head towards the building.

"What ever it is you have planned just do it" Ziva said to him. It had been almost three days and something was telling her the plan had had in mind was going as he thought it should. After all he untied her once, she tired to fight but that was so unsuccessful. Then when he tied her back up she wasn't tied the same way. It was lose and she was able to get out. She figured if she could get him to slip up on something so could get the upper hand and escape. Now the trick was getting the upper hand. "I lied before no one knows I'm still in town. No one even cares where I am. So no one will care if I am dead."

"You are just trying to get me to slip up" Matt said to her. "It's not going to work."

"It is the truth. I am no longer an agent, I am not longer cared about" Ziva said to him. Matt walked over to Ziva reached up her arm and backhanded her.

"Shut up" Matt snapped at her.

"Your best bet is to kill me and get it over with" Ziva said.

"I said shut up" Matt yelled at her. Ziva could see it was working. He was slowly coming apart. "You always have to go and mess everything up don't you."

"I am tied to a chair, how can I ruin this?" Ziva questioned.

"Just stop talking" Matt snapped at her.

"This is over, you just need to figure out how this is going to end" Ziva said to him. Before either of them could say another word, the door burst open. Matt start shooting as he tired to back away, and shoots rang out towards him.

"You are out numbered" Tony said, he held up his hand to tell everyone to hold their fire.

"Oh I don't think so" Matt said, he then rushed over to Ziva and held the gun to her head.

"It's four against one, you are not going to leave her alive" Tony said to her.

"Neither is she" Matt said.

"Shoot him" Ziva snapped.

"You are done Matt, just put the gun down" Tony said. If he could he was going to try and make this so no one would get shot. He didn't want to just start firing, because he knew he'd kill Matt if he got the chance, but this wasn't about that.

"You put your guns own or I'll kill her" Matt said.

"No one is going to shoot I will make sure of that" Tony said trying to reason, but he had a feeling that wasn't possible.

"Shoot him" Ziva said again. Before she knew it a gun went off, Matt had let go of here and then it started an all out gun war. She quickly untied her hands and got up. She felt someone grab her but couldn't see who is was, all she knew was Matt was the closest. She punched them as hard as she could and pulled herself away before heading for the exit. Then the debris started to fall from the ceiling and with all the gunfire it only made the place more unstable then it already was. She tried to get way but between the rubble and the gunfire it wasn't easy. Before she knew it there was sharp pain ripping through her side and she fell.

Tony sat there next to Ziva holding her hand; refuse to move from the spot he was in. They were in the ambulance on their way to the hospital. He wasn't about to let her go, not again, and certainly not this way. He noticed she was slowly opening eyes for the first time since he had found her.

"Hey Ziva" Tony said, hoping she could hear him and understand him. "You were shot you are on your way to the hospital." He explained to her. "Now I need you to do what I told you do and fight, fight like hell. You stay with me. Do you here me you stay with me."

"I am… sorry… Tony" Ziva said to him, before her eyes closed.

_Ziva walked into Vance's office, she had found it strange then he had wanted to see her. She knew things were better then they ever were now and couldn't help but question why he wanted to see her. She could only think maybe he had to do with the case they were working on, Tony and her did not act appropriate at once scene. Gibbs had already reprimanded them for that and said not to let it happen again. _

"_Thank you for coming Agent David" Vance said to her. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at her. _

"_May I ask what this is about?" Ziva asked him. _

"_I was contacted by your father not to long ago" Vance started to tell her. "He has a mission and wants you to be part of it." _

"_But I am no longer wit Mossad" Ziva said to him._

"_That is why he thinks you would be perfect." Vance said to her. "He thinks with you being ex-mossad and an NCIS it will help getting you in with the group he is after. You have access to Intel they might need and it give you a leg up."_

"_You can tell my father no" Ziva said to him. "I have told him I am an NCIS Agent and that is what I plan stay."_

"_I am not trying to convince you, you should do this" Vance said to her. "I am just relaying the message."_

"_Then tell my father no. He will have to find someone else" Ziva said to Vance. She then walked out o his office. _

_Ziva walked off the elevator and into Abby's Lab. She couldn't help but think this might be the last tie she would ever be here. She was going to miss Abby and her ways and his smiles. Abby also had that way of making your smile even when you were down. Ziva walked in more to find Abby had her computer, they had finished the case and she was just double-checking or maybe triple checking everything. _

"_Abby" Ziva said softly not to scare her. _

"_Ziva, just the person I wanted to see" Abby said to her. He walked over and hugged Ziva. _

"_I am" Ziva questioned as he hugged Abby back. _

"_Yes" Abby said as she pulled away. "You know I am here for you right? Anytime, Any day, you name it I'm here."_

"_Thank you" Ziva said to her. "I actually need a favor from you."_

"_Name it" Abby said to her. _

"_I need your help making it look like NCIS is out to get me" Ziva said to her. _

"_What why?" Abby questioned._

"_I am going to be going undercover for a while" Ziva started to explain to her, hoping to tell her as little as possible. "To sell my cover when they do the background check I need them to believe NCIS and I spilt way badly."_

"_How bad?" Abby asked. _

"_I need them to believe I betrayed NCIS, once Mossad always Mossad" Ziva said to her. "But no one must know, understand me."_

"_Okay no one will here is from me" Abby said to her. "Does Vance know?"_

"_He knows about the mission, not about this. You can't tell him." Ziva said. _

"_Is this going to be dangerous?" Abby asked her._

"_Yes" Ziva said. "I can't promise I'll be back, but I will promise to take care of myself."_

"_Don't go Ziva" Abby said to her. Ziva knew she had already lost so many people in her life, it killed her to do this, but it was what needed to be done. _

"_Goodbye Abby" Ziva said to her. Abby pulled her into one more hug before letting her go._

"_I'll do this for you. Take care of yourself and you come home" Abby said to her, as he watched Ziva leave the lab. "Goodbye Ziva." Ziva heard Abby said before she got on the elevator and headed up to Vance's office. _

"Damn it Ziva you stay with me. You hear me" Tony said when he noticed her eyes were closing again. "You do everything you can to hang on."

"_You cannot keep going on like this Ziva" Malachi said, he grabbed her arm top stop her. Ziva ripped her arm away from him and turned to face him. _

"_Who are you to say what I can and cannot do" Ziva snapped at him. _

"_You are being reckless, you nearly got us killed back there" Malachi told her. _

"_If you want out then you can leave at anytime" Ziva said to him. She then turned so her back was facing him and started to continue on her way. _

"_And leave you alone to get yourself killed?" Malachi said. _

"_You did it once before" Ziva snapped. _

"_This is different" Malachi said to her. He once again tried to get her to stop walking. _

"_How so?" Ziva questioned as she stopped and turned to face him._

"_Because there is clearly something going on" Malachi started to say to her. "You were not thinking and we walked right into an ambush, it is lucky we got out alive."_

"_Why are you all of a sudden so worried about things?" Ziva asked him. "You have become weak, you should leave. You could get us killed."_

"_Are you listening to yourself Ziva?" Malachi said. "You are reckless, not thinking. If anyone is going to get us killed it is going to be you. You need to stop and think for a moment."_

"_We stop and we are dead. We have a mission and it is to be done at any coast, or have you forgotten." Ziva said to him. _

"_Ziva stop" Malachi said to her. "This is not the way to go. It's almost like who have a death wish." Malachi then noticed she didn't response and just looked down. "You do have a death wish."_

"_I have a mission to continue and that is what we are going to do" Ziva said to him. _

"_No you need to go back, I will finish the mission" Malachi told her. _

"_I started it, I will finish it" Ziva said. _

"_So what you can join your mother, Tali and Ari?" Malachi snapped at her. _

"_You know nothing" Ziva snapped at him. "You were not there."_

"_Well it seems like that is where you want to be" Malachi said. _

"_If you want to say something just say it Malachi" Ziva said. _

"_Ever since you returned to Tell Aviv you have been different, this is not who you are Ziva. I do not know who you are anymore?" Malachi said. _

"_This is getting us no where" Ziva said to him. "We have a mission, that is all we need to focus on now" _

"_You nearly get us killed again and I will make sure this mission ends" Malachi said to her. _

"_Then I will go on with or without you" Ziva said before turning back around and continued on her way. _

They arrived at the hospital just as they lost Ziva's pulse. Tony started worrying they might be able to save her. They got her in the doors of the Hospital and pushed Tony back so he couldn't come with them.

"You fight Ziva, You fight" Tony said. He was hoping this wouldn't be the last time he saw her.

"_What on earth are you thinking" Tony said to her, he brushed past her and walked into her apartment. Ziva just closed the door and followed him. "I used to think I knew you, right now I don't even know who you are anymore."_

"_I do not even know who I am" Ziva said to him, not really responding to his statement. _

"_I told you Ziva, I have your back and I thought you knew that" Tony said to her, continuing on his rant. She knew he didn't hear what she said. "But for some reason you still feel the need to just get up and walk away. After everything we have done and everything Vance has done." Tony turned and looked at her. "Why? I just want to know why you left Ziva?"_

"_It is complicated Tony" Ziva said to him. _

"_Complicated?" Tony said to her. "What is so complicated?"_

"_You would not understand" Ziva said to him. _

"_Understand? Ziva I risked my entire career and my life for you! So don't tell me I won't understand" Tony said to her, slightly snapping at her. "You are walking away from this team, this family" Tony started to say, he then lowered his voice "From me." Ziva just looked up at him. "I'm your partner Ziva, but right now it seems I'm not even that anymore."_

"_Tony" Ziva started to say, but was quickly interrupted by Tony again. _

"_Don't" He said to her. She could tell he needed to just say what he needed to say. "I don't want to hear another lie. I thought we were past that and we actually trusted each other. Clearly I was wrong."_

"_I...I do trust you" Ziva said finally getting a word in._

"_Really you have a strange way of showing it?" Tony snapped at her. "Why'd you tell Gibbs the truth and lie to me?"_

"_I…I…I" Ziva tried to say, but couldn't get the words out. "I was not trying to hurt you. I just didn't want you to see me as this weak person. This person who could not help herself."_

"_Is that what you thought?" Tony said to her. "Ziva what on earth would give you that idea?"_

"_I have seen it before, someone gets hurt and everyone acts like they are this weak, made to shatter person." Ziva said to him_

"_Made of glass" Tony said correcting her. "You are anything but weak Ziva. I mean come on you are standing here. You have been through more hell and you have not fallen. If that doesn't say your are strong I don't know what does."_

"_You are the one person I could not stand to see look at me differently" Ziva said to him. She knew it would kill her to have him see her in a different light because of all this. _

"_So that is why you did all that?" Tony questioned._

"_That and the more I said it out loud the more it became real" Ziva said to him. _

"_The more real it became the more you wanted to forget it." Tony said to her. _

"_I never wanted to hurt you Tony. Like you said after everything this team as done for me, everything you have done for me, you are the last people I want to hurt." Ziva said. _

"_Then what is this?" Tony asked her. _

"_A mission, I need to walk away from NCIS. No one can know" Ziva said to him. She knew she couldn't tell him, but right now she needed to tell him. "Everyone must think I left and I'm not coming back."_

"_Why?" Tony asked. _

"_It's the only way to get access to the group. They need to believe I walked away from NCIS, so they can use me to gather information. I will gather my own information to bring them down." Ziva explained to him. "My father believes they are planning something big and if we go in now, we can take them down before they can carry out their mission. Now is the perfect time to go."_

"_Why would you go on a mission for your father after what happened last time?" Tony questioned her. _

"_Because my father believes this is a real threat, he knows I am an NCIS Agent. He wouldn't ask me something if it wasn't important" Ziva said to him. "With everything that happened it makes sense, but you need to believe I am gone."_

"_I don't want you to go" Tony said to her. _

"_I must and you must believe I am never coming back. Or this will never work" Ziva told him. "Promise me you will go along with this."_

"_Only if you promise to come home" Tony said to her. _

"_I won't promise something I can't deliver" Ziva said to him. _

"_Okay I will play along, but I want you to come back. To the team and to me" Tony said to her. "I love you Ziva, I always have."_

"_I love you too" Ziva said to him. "And I always will."_

Tony stood staring at the door that had the words emergency personal only, waiting for someone to come out. Suddenly Tony felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned to see who it was and there stood Gibbs.

"He's gone" Gibbs told Tony.

"Good because I'd kill him myself if he wasn't" Tony said to him. "If she dies, it's my fault."

"It's not and she'll pull through" Gibbs said him. "She's stronger then us all."

"I can't lose her Gibbs. I can't. No matter how mad I am at her, I can't bare to lose her." Tony said to him as his eyes started to well up. Tony refused to cry it wasn't going to cry no matter what.

"You love her?" Gibbs question.

"I do" Tony said to him. "I have always loved her."

"You will get to tell her" Gibbs said to him.

Hours had posted and they sat and waited to hear the news, it was almost like time was going so slow or stopped all together. No one could really figure out what happened, one minute they were storming into the abandoned apartment complex, the next thing they knew the building was coming down at them two people were down and they needed to find a way out. Before they could even start to make their way out, more shots rang out and in that spilt second everything changed. They all sat there praying she'd make it through. Abby had her laid her head against McGee's shoulder, trying so hard not to panic, but she couldn't stop herself from thinking they were going to lose another friend. McGee sat there, trying his best to console Abby, while still being strong himself. Ducky sat there watching everyone around him carefully; ready to offer a shoulder or a kind word. Then there was Tony and Gibbs. Tony tried to just sit there and wait, but no matter what he did he couldn't sit still. He couldn't stop thinking about how things all went wrong. He was supposed to have her back, he said he would and here they were, she was in trouble yet again. He just couldn't stop beating himself up. As Gibbs sat there trying not to think about how he failed his team.

Just then the doors opened and out walked the doctor from the emergency personal entrance only. They all stood up, but it was Tony and Gibbs that walked over to the doctor. They both knew it wasn't good news; the doctor had a look that screamed she was dead. Tony tried to stay strong, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to hear the news. He knew he couldn't live without her, nor did he ever want too. Not to mention the team needed her, whither he wanted to admit it or not.

"How is she?" Gibbs finally spoke up.

Within the silence, the words none of them wanted to hear were spoken. The doctor bowed his head and walked back through the emergency personal entrance only doors, and as the doors slowly closed, there you saw Tony as his legs slowly gave out beneath him. Gibbs stood there almost as if he didn't want to believe it. Abby was wrapped in McGee's arms as she cried uncontrollably. Ducky walked over to Gibbs and he placed a hand on Gibbs shoulder, and without words they looked at each other knowing the words to be said, but neither needed to speak them.

Gibbs walked down the stairs that lead to his basement, the one place he knew he could always go to when he just needed to be alone or just to think. The one place he didn't need to worry about what was to come or what had gone by. Somehow this time it just didn't feel right, it just wasn't the same. Once Gibbs reached the bottom, he walked over to his workbench and picked up a jar and cleaned it out. He then grabbed the bottle of scotch from the shelf, and opened it before pouring himself a glass. He turned to face his new creation and took a sip. Only this time instead of it being the cool relief he needed, it was sour and left a bitter taste in his mouth. He gripped the glass and tossed it across the room, it hit the wall, shattering as the liquid in the glass ran down the wall. Gibbs slowly started to lose control of his emotions and tears feel from his eyes. His knees began to give out underneath him, before he finally just dropped to the ground just letting the tears fall from his eyes.

* * *

><p>AN: in case you get confused, Italics are flashbacks. The last one with Tony and Ziva though that is a what is if did things differently. And in the end if you don't get it, will explain it in the next chapter.<p> 


	23. Three Weeks and I'm Still Sober

**Chapter Twenty Three- "Three Weeks and I'm Still Sober"**

Three weeks had gone by since everything happened with Ziva and Matt. Tony, McGee and Abby still couldn't believe how everything had turned out. They were all giving time off to deal with the fall out, the death and just come to terms with it all. The funeral had been one just liked Kate's. It was outside and everyone she loved had come to say goodbye. McGee was there for Abby when she needed someone to lean on and Tony, Gibbs and Ducky all stood tall, being strong. They all knew things wouldn't be the same, this changed a lot of things and moving on from it wasn't going to be easy. They all knew she didn't die in vain.

Tony walked off the elevator and towards the bullpen. It was their first day back since everything had happened. Vance had given them mandatory leave and then Gibbs gave them extra time since she was a member of his team and someone they all cared about. When Tony got to the bullpen he noticed McGee sitting at his desk, face in his computer almost like things hadn't changed. Tony put his stuff down behind his desk and then took his badge and gun and placed them on his desk. He then sat down and just stared at the desk that was right across from in.

"You stare at her desk anymore it's not going to change things" McGee said. Tony was hoping they would just sit there in silence till Gibbs came in with a case, but looks like it wasn't going to be the case.

"It's also not going to change the fact I got her killed" Tony snapped at McGee. He turned and looked at McGee. McGee looked up rom his computer and at Tony.

"I never said that" McGee said trying to defend himself.

"But you are all thinking it" Tony said. "It was my lead, I went in there and I got her killed."

"You couldn't have known that was going to happen" McGee said to him. "It's not your fault, no one blames you."

"You should" Tony snapped. "I should have known the building was that unstable, I should have known a gun fight wouldn't have been a good idea. Had thought about this before we stormed the building, she'd still be alive."

"We all made mistakes in there" McGee said to him.

"Well those mistakes not only cost us another teammate, but a friend too" Tony said. He then got up from his desk and walked away leaving behind everything.

She walked down the stairs to the basement. It almost seemed weird walking down these stairs, almost like she was going to get scowled for doing something wrong. It also felt like this was the first time she was going to do to see him or maybe it would turn into being the last time she saw him. Once she reached the bottom, she saw him working on something new. One thing she could always count on was he was always working on something in his basement. She once she reached the ground floor, she walked over to him a bit.

"Are you sure you should be here?" He asked her.

"I was released a couple of days ago" She answered him.

"That is not what I asked." He said to her.

"This is where I need to be right now Gibbs" she said to him.

"And why is that Ziva?" Gibbs asked her.

"Because I want to thank you" Ziva said to him.

"It's not me, it's Tony you should be thanking" Gibbs said to her.

"That is not why I am thanking you" Ziva said to him. "I know the doctors told you everything and I want to thank you for not saying anything."

"It's not my information to tell" Gibbs said to her. He stopped what he was doing and turned to look at her.

"I figured you would need to say something in the report" Ziva said to him. "Or to Vance."

"We recused you, but the case was Metros. It was their job to ask, we just gave them the information that was important." Gibbs said to her.

"I just wanted to thank you" Ziva said to him.

"There is no reason to thank me" Gibbs said to her. "But I will not stand by and watch your destroy yourself again."

"That will not happen" Ziva said to him. "Things are different now."

"Are they?" Gibbs questioned her.

"Yes" Ziva said. "I know now that I have people I can count on, people who will be there for me. I do not need to hide in the shadows. Someone once told me the best thing do to is to surround yourself with friends and family and not to lock yourself away hoping it will go away, because it will not. That if you push the people you love away the monsters win."

"They are very wise" Gibbs said.

"When I was in that basement…" Ziva started to say.

"Ziva, you don't have it" Gibbs interrupted her.

"I do" Ziva said and then continued on. "I realized something. I did not have any of you to have my back anymore. Had it not been mentioned no one would have known. You all would most likely thought I had left once again. And knowing that I didn't have the people I grew to love around me and knowing I'd never get to say goodbye, it hurt worse then anything he could have done." Gibbs just stood there listening to her. Ziva was trying her hardest not to cry. "Part of me wondered if anyone would really miss me if I was gone. Would anyone really have noticed I wasn't there anymore?"

"Ziva" Gibbs started to say.

"But the one thing that kept going through my head" Ziva said ignoring Gibbs words. "Was no one knows I am here. No one is coming to save me. And I will be damned if this is how it was going to end" Ziva continued to say. " Saleem once said me to me that rape was a weak mans tool to gain control and power' and he was already powerful. That plus Tony telling me I was letting him win, I knew the only was I was going to get away was to take his power away and the power he had over me away."

"You were always stronger then you realize" Gibbs said to her. He gave her a smile and she knew that meant he was proud of her.

"He knew I was Mossad and could easily over power me, I never could figure out how he knew this or could do that" Ziva said.

"That is because his real name was Ethan Vasquez" Gibbs said to her. "He is wanted by just about everyone including Mossad. He was special ops in the CIA, but vanished. They believed him to be dead, but when certain people ended up dead they realized he was alive. Not only that but a threat."

"What does this have to do with Mossad?" Ziva questioned.

"I do not know much, because your father hasn't disclosed anything other then he went after some important people" Gibbs explained to her. "I believe he knew who you were when he met you, got close to Lillian to get closer to you. He used her and all this to hurt your father."

"I do not understand" Ziva said to him.

"I think Matt was wanting to hurt your father and used you to do it" Gibbs said to her. "Lillian and the other women he killed were all just pawns in his game."

"_You stupid little girl" Matt said to her. He got up from his chair and walked around the table and over to her. "I already have." He said with a laugh. "Your little friends can't pin anything on me, I made sure of that. Those women, they were just pawns in a game, useless." Matt moved closer to her, so he was only a few inches away from her. "But you, you're like all the rest. You keep your mouth shut, so it's as if it never happened."_

"_You're wrong" Ziva said, she really wanted to back away, but she knew she had to hold her ground and stay strong. Otherwise he'd think he was getting to her. _

"Oh my.." Ziva said as she looked down at the ground. She couldn't believe it; he had said it right to her.

"Ziva?" Gibbs questioned.

"He told me" Ziva said, she looked at Gibbs. "He said these women, they were just pawns in a game, useless. He said it right to my face and I didn't see it."

"We all missed it" Gibbs said to her. "We couldn't have known."

"I should have seen it" Ziva said to him.

"Don't blame yourself. He is gone" Gibbs said to her.

"But those women, they are dead" Ziva said to him.

"We can't change the past, just make sure it wasn't all for nothing" Gibbs said to her.

"I was planning on talking to Vance" Ziva said. She wasn't so sure now. This had changed things, but she didn't know he didn't brag about this to her face. Why he not said anything about it when he had her. She still needed some time to think things over.

"You want back on the team?" Gibbs questioned.

"If you do not want me I understand. I still need to thing some things over" Ziva said to him.

"Talk to Tony first" Gibbs said to her. They had been here once before, back when she thought she could not trust Tony. Only the different between then and now was she trusted Tony, but she had hurt him once again. This time she didn't get mad at him, no she just shut him out.

"I plan too" Ziva said to him.

"Then we will talk" Gibbs said to her. He then walked over to her. "I am glad you are okay Ziver." Gibbs said before pulling her into a hug.

"I am glad too" Ziva said hugging him back.

Abby sat in her Lab staring at the pictures on her desk. There were ones of her with all the members of the team, Kate, Ziva, Melissa, Tony and McGee. She even had a special one of her and Gibbs she kept safe. With all the times he had almost died and left she wasn't about to let that one disappear. This time it was different this time she was staring at the picture of her and Kate and her and Melissa. She didn't notice it till now, but Kate and Melissa kind of looked alike. Almost like they could have been sisters or cousins. She had a feeling they would get along if they had meet. Abby couldn't help but cry and smile as she looked at the pictures, remembering all the goods times. Just then Abby heard footsteps and quickly wiped the tears away and put on a smile. She got up and walked through the doors to the main part of her lap, to see Tony walking in.

"What do we have?" Abby asked, expecting him to be down there with a case she needed to work on.

"You said you helped Ziva disappear" Tony said to her. Abby had hoped this conversation would never happen, but she had a feeling it might someday.

"I did" Abby answered him.

"Why?" Tony asked her. "Why did you help her? Why didn't you tell her you wouldn't do it?"

"Because I told her I was here for her and that if she needed anything I would help out" Abby said to him. "She asked me for a favor and not to ask questions. So I did it, because she is my friend. I'd do the same for any of you."

"Did you know what it was for?" Tony asked her.

"Only it was a mission and she was trying to sell she parted ways with NCIS badly" Abby said to him. "And that she didn't think she would be returning."

"She told you that?" Tony asked.

"Only that she couldn't promise to come home, but she'd promise to watch her back" Abby said to him.

"I needed to know" Tony said to her.

"She cares about you Tony and I know you care about her. You don't have to forgive her right away, but don't keep pushing her away." Abby said to him.

"That's the thing, when she was dying as I was holding her hand I didn't care about anything else other then her" Tony started to explain to her. "All I could think about was if I lost her it be my fault, if I lost her I'd never get to tell her I loved her. If I lost her, I wouldn't be able to live without her. All I could think about was losing her and how it would kill me if it happened."

"So tell her that Tony" Abby said to him.

"I kept meaning too" Tony said. "I would get to the hospital and her floor, but could never bring myself to her room. Then I started thinking to myself would she say no because I was only saying these things because she almost died and not because I really meant them. I couldn't do it."

"She's fine now, it's been weeks. Go to her Tony and tell her" Abby said to him. "If this whole mess taught us anything it's you might not get another chance."

Ziva walked off he elevator and towards the bullpen. This too felt weird as she walked towards the bullpen. She had only been away for four weeks, but felt like it had been forever since she really been back in the building. She walked into bullpen and saw McGee at his desk, Tony stuff at his but he was not and her old desk was cleaned off. It almost felt like when she first arrived at NCIS, only Tony and McGee both didn't like her or know her. Plus they both lost someone they worked with and cared about deeply. Now here they were years later, they lost another person they cared about and she was walking back into their lives.

"Ziva" a voice said and pulled Ziva out of her thoughts. She looked over and there was McGee coming over to greet her.

"McGee" Ziva said as she walked over to him. The two hugged before pulled back and looking at each other. "I thank you for the flowers."

"They were actually from Abby, she just put our names on it" McGee said to her.

"I will have to thank her too" Ziva said. "I am deeply sorry about Agent Daniels."

"Thanks" McGee said. "At least she got to be with the person she loved in the end."

"It was good she was not alone" Ziva said to him. "And as much I thank you all for what you did, you should not have come."

"Ziva you're family, family never gets left behind" McGee said to her.

"Even though I walked away from everyone?" Ziva questioned.

"You're still family" McGee said to her. "Wither you like it or not."

"Then I am lucky to have a family like this" Ziva said to him with a smile.

"And Tony isn't here" McGee said. "I knew you would ask sooner or later."

"I will find him later then, I have to see Director Vance" Ziva said to him.

"Hopefully for good news." McGee said.

"We will see" Ziva said to him, before heading out of the bullpen and towards the Directors office.

* * *

><p>AN: You really thing I'd kill off Ziva? Then they end wouldn't be a happy one. The ending to the last chapter was The team morning the loss of their friend and other agent Melissa, but also Tony realizing he lead the team and it got her killed. The Gibbs scene, basically he knows everything that happened to Ziva and feels like he could have done more to protect her. My reasoning behind that scene. And tried to explain why he really went after Ziva. Read, Review. It's almost complete.<p> 


	24. Stay

**Chapter Twenty Four- "Stay"**

It had been a lot day, but it was finally over. After her talk with Vance, she headed off to bee Dr. Bronco again. Vance had said if she wanted to come back, she needed to go through everything again. Ziva knew even though she passed the last one, things have happened since so it made sense. Once that was done it seemed as if time went by slower and slower. She was waiting by Tony's apartment for him to get home from work. She knew it would be better to talk to him after he was done with work then during. Never knew if they'd caught a case and once they did there never been time. She heard the elevator doors opened and there stood Tony. He walked out and headed to his door, she knew he saw her. Wither or not he wanted to see she wasn't sure off. He stopped at his door and turned to her.

"You been waiting for here long" Tony asked her.

"No" Ziva lied. She didn't want him to know she had been waiting here just about all day.

"Would you like to come in?" Tony asked her, before he turned back to the door to open it.

"Yes" Ziva said. Tony opened it and then two walked in. Tony then closed the door and returned back into the room with Ziva.

"Would you like something to drink?" Tony asked. She knew he was just trying to be nice.

"We can cut this" Ziva said to him. She just wanted to get down to it. She owed it to him, after everything.

"Okay then why are you here?" Tony asked her.

"To say thank you" Ziva said to him. "After everything you still came to save me. I did not deserve it, but you saved me. Thank you"

"No you didn't deserve to deal with Matt again. After everything he put you through, last thing you needed was to be hurt again by him" Tony said to her. "I would do it again."

"If only…" Ziva said under her breath. She took a deep breath and then looked at Tony. "I owe you so much. You have saved my life twice now and I have done nothing by hurt you" She started to say to him. "So I am here. Ask me anything and I will tell you the truth."

"You don't need to do this Ziva. I was doing my job, but even if I wasn't I still wouldn't let you go that easy" Tony said to her. "This is not needed."

"You told me once you thought I could trust you, so why did I lie straight to your face" Ziva said to him. "It was because I was afraid. Afraid you would view me different, afraid it would make it real, afraid to feel, afraid to be weak. I was afraid."

"I told you, you don't need to explain anything. It's all been said and done" Tony said to her.

"But I do Tony" Ziva said to him. "You were right I was letting him control me, making me run scared. I did not want to face it. I wanted to be the person I was before, the person who believed emotions were a sign of weakness. Forget it happened and get on with things. With that I put myself and everyone around me in danger."

"Malachi said the last time you were this reckless was when Tali was killed. Of course he didn't know I was the only one who really knew about Tali" Tony said to her.

"He is right, I was right back where I was when Tali was killed. Only I didn't want revenge, I just wanted to do what I needed to do and kill anyone who got in my way" Ziva said to him.

"Was there anything that could have changed your mind?" Tony asked her.

"Once I was in the state I was, no" Ziva said to him. "Gibbs was right to lock me up in the conference room. I should have stayed."

"You are human, you wanted to see him and know he was going to get locked up. It's something any of us would have done" Tony said to her.

"It does not excuse what I did or what I did after" Ziva said to him.

"I do have a question for you" Tony said to her. "Gibbs said the last words you said before you left were about me, is that true?"

"Yes" Ziva said to him.

"What did you say to Gibbs" Tony asked.

"I asked Gibbs to look after you" Ziva said to him. "I knew you were hurt and I did not want you to do something you might regret. You don't always get a do over."

"That would explain it" Tony said.

"Explains what?" Ziva asked.

"Gibbs, or should I say Vance made us all see the company shrink after you left" Tony asked to her. "Never really understood why, but make sense now."

"I cannot say it enough I am sorry Tony" Ziva said to him.

"If there is one thing I learned after the last month, nothing last forever. Things change, you lose people you care about and you either keep them close or let them go" Tony said to her. "I care about you so much Ziva, I even loved you and I want to forgive you. I watched you nearly die and all I could think about was not being able to tell you I really loved you, but right now having you here all I can think is the past. I don't know how to trust you right now Ziva, I'm not sure I will be able to trust you like I used too."

"I understand" Ziva said to him.

"I don't know what to do really" Tony said to her. "It's just so much has happened and I don't know how to deal with it all."

"Then how about we start over?" Ziva suggested.

"Started over?" Tony said with a little laugh.

"Not a good idea?" Ziva said.

"It's not that, I just seems like something we shouldn't be doing at all" Tony said to her.

"Then maybe it is best I go" Ziva said to him.

"Who is that going to be good for?" Tony said to her.

"Then I do not know what to say or what to do" Ziva said to him. "Do you want me to just tell you things about me no one else knows? Try and see if we could work this out in one night? Tell me and I will do it?"

"That is just it, I want everything and nothing all at the same time" Tony said to her.

"I guess we are at a stand still" Ziva said to him.

"I guess so" Tony said to her. "I wish I could erase the past and things could be different, but that can't be done. Either way things are different now anyways."

"They do not have to be?" Ziva said to him. She knew what he meant and that he was right either way in the end.

"Can you honestly stand here and tell me you haven't change?" Tony questioned her.

"I cannot" Ziva said to him. With everything that happened things had changed, she had changed.

"Even if you haven't there was still this issue you… this elephant in the room" Tony said to her.

"I do not see this elephant" Ziva said to him.

"It's a saying" Tony said to her. "There is just still so much to over come and I want to over come it. I just don't know how. I feel like I am contradicting myself now. Saying one thing, then saying another."

"I am willing to do or say anything to try and help" Ziva said to him. "You just need to tell me."

"How did Gibbs forgive you? How did he forgive you do easy?" Tony asked her.

"I do not think he has?" Ziva said to him.

"I over heard him talking to Vance about you possibly coming back to the team. So clearly he has forgiven you" Tony said to her.

"Maybe you should ask him" Ziva said. She knew one of the reasons, but wasn't sure that is what he really meant.

"I am asking you" Tony said. "You come to the team and he okayed it even though Jenny never told him. Then you leave, and when you came back things were a little different, but Gibbs let you back and now Gibbs has forgiven you once again" Tony continued to say to her. "Clearly something is going on because you trusted him more them me. I want to know why."

"Because he is like a father to me" Ziva said to him.

"You want me to trust you again, what is it you and Gibbs are keeping for each other." Tony questioned her.

"I earned his trust" Ziva said to him.

"How? It's not that easy" Tony said. She knew he'd know after all he worked with Gibbs the longest, next to Abby.

"Gibbs did not kill Ari…" Ziva said to him. "I did."

"You killed…. You killed your own brother?" Tony questioned. She could tell he was shocked, just like the team was shocked to find out he was her half brother. Luckily they didn't hold it against her, and knew she was different.

"I did not lie, I was there to protect Ari. I believed he was innocent" Ziva started to explain to him. "Then my father gave me the order to take out the problem, Ari. I only took the mission because I wanted to protect him, then Gibbs asked me to have his back. Again I went to protect my brother. When I was at the top of the stairs listening I couldn't believe it. When I fired the gun I didn't do it for my father or for Gibbs, I did it because Gibbs did not deserve to die." Ziva explained to him. "He was my brother and I didn't even know who he was in that moment. I did what I needed to do and Gibbs took the blame. Everyone knew he wanted Ari died, so he said he did."

"I don't know what to say" Tony said to her.

"That is what Gibbs and I have been keeping from everyone" Ziva said to him.

"No one else knows?" Tony asked him.

"Vance, but I do not know how he knows. I am not even sure my father knows" Ziva said to him. "Gibbs and I made the deal and I have no gone back on it. There are just so many things I do not understand, so many I thought I did."

"The politics of the job" Tony said to her.

"Yeah" Ziva said agreeing. "I meant what I said this team is my family and I messed up. I can't take back what I did and I wouldn't change it either, but I do regret hurting everyone. Hurting Gibbs and mostly hurting you."

"It got us here" Tony said to her. She wasn't really sure what he meant, but figured it be better not to ask.

"I should get going" Ziva said to him. She then turned and started to walk to the door.

"Ziva" Tony said. She stopped and turned to look at him. "Don't go."

"What?" Ziva questioned.

"Stay" Tony said to her. Ziva couldn't help but smile at him.

"But..." was all Ziva could get out.

"I lost you more times then one person should lose someone" Tony said with a little laugh. "And I know if I let you walk out that door, I'm never going to see you again and I can't handle that. I know I said I don't trust you and I don't think I could trust you the same again, but I'm not ready to live without you. Nor do I want too." Tony said to her. All Ziva could do was stand there and listen to him. "I love you Ziva, I have loved you for a long time. If this was a movie I'd have all the right things to say, but right now I don't even know what the right thing is. All I know is that I want you to stay."

"I am not going anywhere" Ziva said as a tears fell from her eyes. She then walked back over to Tony. "This is where I want to be. I love you Tony."

"Good" Tony said to her. He moved closer to her and then leaned in and placed his forehead on hers. "Because I wouldn't want you to be anywhere else."

"There is nowhere else I'd rather be" Ziva said to him. "I have to deal with something first."

"I don't want to let you go" Tony said to her. "But you better come back."

"As long as you are waiting for me" Ziva said to him.

* * *

><p>An: aww happy ending for them. But that's not all. One more chapter to go.<p> 


	25. And In The End

**Chapter Twenty Five- "And In The End"**

"All I am saying McGee is that you need to do it romantically" Tony asked to McGee as they walked off the elevator. They didn't know how they had gotten to this point, but here they were now.

"Why are you giving me advice again?" McGee asked him.

"Because I'm going to be your best man?" Tony said as then turned into the bullpen.

"Says who?" McGee asked him. "Last time I checked you were against this because of Abby."

"I never said that" Tony said as they each walked over to their desks. "I just said maybe you shouldn't be doing this, think about Abby."

"And there you go lying again" McGee said to him. "I know you care about her, I did too, but we can decide this on our own."

"Decide what?" Abby said as she walked into the bullpen from the opposite side.

"Nothing" Tony and McGee said at the same time.

"Whatever" Abby said. "Have you heard from Ziva lately?"

"We talked last week, she said she should be home soon" Tony said to her.

"Good because she and I need to have some serious girl time when she gets back" Abby said to him.

"When she gets back I'll be sure to let you know" Tony said to her. "I'm sure she'll like that, after everything that happened."

"Still wish you went with her?" McGee asked him.

"After what she found out? I don't trust her with her father at all" Tony said to him. "At least I could have been there for support, but she wouldn't have it."

"I'm sure she's still happy you are willing to be there for her" Abby said to him. "I know I would be if I was in her shoes.

"I can understand why she passed on coming back" McGee said to him. "Just be sure to tell her we miss her."

"I will. As soon as she gives me a date I plan on surprising her" Tony said to her.

"So weird to see you like this" McGee said.

"I think it's sweet" Abby said.

"You would" McGee said with a laugh.

"So I hear you are finally getting a new team member today." Abby said.

"What who told you that?" Tony questioned.

"I know a guy" Abby said.

"Ducky?" Tony and McGee at the same time.

"Fine yes" Abby said. "I hear she worked with the OSP team."

"Only person I know from that team is Kensi" McGee said.

"That is what is being said, but what do I know" Abby said. Tony knew it was a dig at McGee.

"Well who ever it I'm sure I'll get along with them" Tony said.

"We got a dead Marine" Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen. He then stopped and looked at Abby.

"I was just leaving" Abby said to him, before walking away.

"I am working on it" McGee said.

"Work faster" Tony said.

"Shut up Tony" McGee said to him.

"So I hear we are getting a new team member?" Tony questioned, not sure he really was looking for an answer. "Why of a sudden now? We've done just fine the last four months with just us."

"Vance made the decision. I just have to go along with it" Gibbs said to him.

"So do you know it is?" Tony asked, so they all started to head to the elevator.

"You know as much as I do" Gibbs said. They all then got on the elevator.

"I'll meet you all at the truck" McGee said before exiting the elevator and heading back to his desk.

"What just.." Tony started to question.

"DiNozzo" Gibbs said harshly.

"Yeah stop talking" Tony said.

The elevator doors opened and Gibbs and Tony walked out and into the evidence garage. It was cleared out with a section all set up for something special. Tony couldn't help but wonder what was going on and if Gibbs knew about it. When he went to question Gibbs, he was gone. He looked back over and there was Gibbs and McGee talking. McGee was now dressed in a tux. Tony walked over to them.

"Did I miss something?" Tony questioned.

"No you are just in time" McGee said. "You are going to be my best man right?"

"But I… thought?" Tony asked.

"We only told you that" McGee said to him. "We all kind of wanted to surprise you."

"Did you think I'd ruin it or something?" Tony questioned him.

"No" McGee said to him. "We just had something else in mind. Now will you be my best man?"

"Listen to him Tony" Gibbs said to him.

"Yes" Tony said to him. The three of them headed to the head of the set up. There they all stood, McGee first, then Tony and then Gibbs. Sitting down looking up at them, was Palmer and Vance with a few other NCIS employee's. Then out of the shadows walked Ziva, who was in this beautiful long black dress with white roses in her hands. And she walked till she was at the aisle and then started to walk down. Tony couldn't believe his eyes; she didn't think she was going to be back in town till next week. "How? What?"

"That's the other surprise" McGee said to him. Tony couldn't believe McGee had pulled this off, how they all pulled this off without him knowing.

"I'm going to kill you all" Tony said to McGee.

"You're welcome" McGee said. Once Ziva made it up to the boys Tony looked at her and mouthed 'you owe me' as in she needed to tell him everything. Ziva mouthed back 'I will' as to say I'll tell you everything. Tony then turned his head back to see Abby appear, she was wear a short black dress, with a black vial and holding black roses. Tony couldn't help but think she looked beautiful and could clearly see McGee's breath was talking away. Once she reached them, Abby and McGee couldn't stop smiling at each other. Then Ducky appeared between McGee and Abby.

"Are we ready?" Ducky said to them. The two just nodded. Then Ducky started talking about how these two were meant for each other and it was destiny that brought them back together. Then started in with the vows. "Do you Timothy McGee take thee Abigail Sciuto?"

"I do" McGee said.

"Do you Abigail Sciuto take thee Timothy McGee?" Ducky asked Abby.

"I do" Abby said.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride" Ducky said. McGee then pulled Abby into a kiss, as everyone clapped along.

After things had settled down, the chairs were cleared and a table full of food was brought out and a few tables were brought out as well. Tony saw Ziva standing alone and walked over to her. It had been so long since he saw her and he needed to know how things had gone.

"So did you plan on telling me you were coming home?" Tony asked her.

"No, it would have ruined everything" Ziva said as she turned to face him. "I wanted to surprise you."

"Well I am surprise" Tony said to her. "How did it go?"

"My father and I had a long talk, there were words exchanged" Ziva started to say.

"It didn't go well?" Tony asked her.

"No, even after everything I told him he did not let up" Ziva said to him. "He said I should not have let this man fool me. He should not have had a chance at me and then blamed NCIS for making me weak."

"I'm sorry Ziva" Tony said.

"Do not be, my father … I knew who he was and knew how he would react" Ziva said to him. "I was a fool to think after everything my father might actually show me compassion."

"Well that is why you have a family here with us" Tony said to her. Tony noticed Ziva look down and knew something else was bothering her. "What is it?"

"It is nothing. It is not important. It is Tim and Abby's day" Ziva said to him, trying to put on a smile.

"No what is it?" Tony questioned him.

"It is just something… it is not important" Ziva said to him.

"Clearly is it" Tony said to him.

"Ziva" Abby said interrupting them as she rushed over to Tony and Ziva. "Tony how'd you like the surprise?"

"You really got me" Tony said to her. "Congrats Abby."

"That's not all" Abby said. She then grabbed their hands and pulled them to where McGee and Gibbs were.

"What?" Tony said not sure of what was going on.

"We have one more surprise for you" McGee said to him.

"A toast" Gibbs said, holding up his glass. "To the newlyweds Abby and McGee" Gibbs said. Everyone but Tony raised their glass as well. "And to the team back together again."

"What?" Tony questioned. "Okay now would someone explain."

"You're new team member" Vance said. "Is Ziva. She is returning to NCIS."

"What?" Tony said.

"Yes, I am coming back" Ziva said to him. Tony just moved over and picked up Ziva and hugged her and spun her around. Once he put her down, he looked at everyone and than back at Ziva. "It was a lot of hoops, but I am back staring tomorrow."

"Welcome back Agent David" Tony said as he raised his glass with what was left for his drink and then took a ship of it.

"It is good to be back" Ziva said to him.

"I'm going to get another, want one?" Tony said to Ziva.

"I am good" Ziva said and then handed him her glass. Ziva walked away from the group, Gibbs noticed and followed.

"What's up." Gibbs questioned her.

"I am fine" Ziva said to him.

"I am guessing you haven't told him" Gibbs said to him.

"I can not and I will not" Ziva said to him.

"He's going to find out, it would be better coming from you" Gibbs said to her.

"How do I tell him something like that?" Ziva said to him.

"By being honest" Gibbs said to her.

"I just got him back Gibbs, I do not want to lose him again" Ziva said as a tears fell from her eyes.

"He won't leave you, believe that" Gibbs said to her. "But you need to be honest with him." Gibbs said before walking away. Tony then noticed Ziva alone and walked over to her. When he noticed she was crying, he put her glass down on the nearest table and then pulled her into a hug.

"Ziva what's wrong" Tony asked.

"I do not want you to hate me" Ziva said to him through her tears.

"Why would I hate you?" Tony questioned. He pulled back from the hug and looked at her.

"I did not want to tell you this and least of all here" Ziva said to him as she wiped the tears away.

"Ziva what ever it is you can tell me" Tony said to her.

"When I was in Tel Aviv I found out I was pregnant" Ziva said to him as she looked down. "There were complications and I lost the baby a month after I found out."

"You really think I would hate you for this?" Tony asked her. "I could never hate you for this."

"It was his baby Tony" Ziva said. Tony started to put things together.

"If anything I hate myself for not being there for you" Tony said to her. "Why didn't you call me? Or Tell Me?"

"How could I explain this?" Ziva said to him. "I could barely wrap my mind around it myself. My father was not being the person I thought he could be, blaming NCIS for what happened and then this. I just did not know how to process it all."

"Well you have me now and I'm here for you" Tony said to her. "I don't plan on going anywhere. What ever you need, just tell me."

"I imagine this conversation so many different ways in my head and none of them ended up like this" Ziva said to him.

"Do you really think that badly of me?" Tony questioned.

"No, I just believed this was something unforgivable" Ziva said to him. "Something we could not get past."

"This was something beyond your control and not your fault" Tony said to her. "It only make me hate the man more then already do and if he wasn't already dead, I'd want to kill him" Ziva stood there and listened to him talk. "You are still standing Ziva, you have over come it all. I could not be prouder."

"Sometimes I think I don't deserve you" Ziva said to him.

"You don't" Tony said with a small laugh as he joked. "But you're stuck with me." Ziva couldn't help but let out a little laugh. "There is that smile and laugh I love so much. I love you Ziva."

"I love you too Tony" Ziva said. Tony then leaned in, wiped the tears from her eyes and then kissed her.

"You two done grabbassing?" Gibbs shouted at them.

"Never boss" Tony said. He and Ziva then headed back to the group. Tony grabbed two glasses and then handed one to Ziva. "A toast."

"To what?" McGee said as everyone raised their glass.

"Too Rule 53" Tony started to say.

"There is nothing better than being with family" Gibbs said finishing Tony's thought.

"To Rule 53" Everyone said and then clinked their glasses.

**Phoof**

* * *

><p>AN: and that's it folks. It's done and finished. Hope you liked it. :)<p> 


End file.
